Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph shows the number of jobs in four economic sectors - manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare in the US from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, the manufacturing industry provides the highest opportunities in 1960, while healthcare has the least job offers. Retail and healthcare industries also increased gradually throughout the period.

In 1960, the manufacturing industry had the greatest impact on the economy, offering about 15 million jobs. This figure rose at its peak in 1980, at around 20 million jobs until it gradually declined at less than 15 million in 2020. This trend was also observed on agriculture, which had around more than 5 million work opportunities in 1960 but eventually decreased to below 5 million in 2020.

On the other hand, the healthcare system, which has the least number of jobs, at around less than 5 million in 1960 increased to above 15 million in 2020, matching the figure of retail the industry. These sectors became more popular in the 20s surpassing the job market available in the manufacturing.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the four sectors and report several important trends, including manufacturing’s rise to a peak in 1980 and subsequent decline, and the growth of healthcare. However, some key comparisons are incomplete or unclear. The overview says retail and healthcare increased, but does not note that by 2020 both reached about 16 million jobs and overtook manufacturing. The statement that these sectors became more popular “in the 20s” is ambiguous; the chart ends in 2020, and their growth occurs across the period. Agriculture’s decline is broadly accurate, though its 1960 figure is about 6 million and its 2020 figure about 2 million. Select and compare the main trends more precisely, especially retail’s steady rise.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, an overview, and two detail paragraphs. The contrast marker “On the other hand” helps signal the shift from declining sectors to growing ones, and the information generally progresses in a sensible order. This meets the lower-band expectation of coherent organisation and shows some features of stronger progression. However, links between ideas are occasionally unclear: “These sectors” refers to healthcare and retail, but the following phrase about becoming more popular “in the 20s” does not clearly connect to the chart’s timeline. The overview also groups retail and healthcare together without distinguishing their different starting points and growth patterns. Use more precise references and organise comparisons around clear time periods or trends.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of topic vocabulary, including “economic sectors,” “gradually declined,” “peak,” and “surpassing,” and the meaning is generally understandable. There are also attempts at more formal phrasing, such as “work opportunities” and “job market.” Some choices are inaccurate or unnatural for describing chart data: “provides the highest opportunities,” “least job offers,” and “had the greatest impact on the economy” do not precisely mean the number of jobs. “More popular” also interprets the figures rather than neutrally describing them. Aim for direct, conventional reporting language and use “employment” or “jobs” consistently. More precise collocations would improve clarity without requiring more complicated vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including a relative clause in “the healthcare system, which has the least number of jobs,” and most sentences remain understandable. Some grammatical errors and awkward constructions persist. For example, “This trend was also observed on agriculture” uses an unsuitable preposition, while “had around more than 5 million” combines conflicting quantifiers. In “This figure rose at its peak in 1980 … until it gradually declined,” the relationship between the peak and the later decline is not expressed cleanly. The final sentence also has unclear structure and punctuation around “available in the manufacturing.” Practise concise comparisons with accurate past-tense verbs and check that each clause has a clear grammatical connection.

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