Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The line graph tracks the changes in the employement opportunities amongst the different sectors economy of US from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, throughout the period of 60 years, job opprtunities in the manufacturing and agriculture sector decreased whereas retail and healthcare sectors has showns a consistent growth retail has surpassed manufacturing.

Looking first at the manufacturing sector where it started at the highest jobs in the year 1960 rose for a while and soared in year 2020. Meanwhile

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

You identify the graph’s subject and give a broad overview, noting that manufacturing and agriculture declined while retail and healthcare grew. However, the response is incomplete and does not adequately summarise the main features: it gives no figures for most sectors and makes no meaningful comparisons across the period. It also misreports manufacturing, saying it “soared in year 2020”; the graph shows it fell from a peak of about 20 million in 1980 to 13 million in 2020. The response contains 78 words, below the required 150, and ends mid-sentence at “Meanwhile”. To improve, complete the report and select key figures and turning points, including healthcare and retail reaching about 16 million by 2020.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic attempt to organise the response: an opening sentence is followed by an overview and then a detail paragraph beginning “Looking first”. The overview also uses “whereas” to contrast declining and growing sectors. However, the report stops abruptly after “Meanwhile”, so there is no completed progression through the data or concluding comparison. The transition into the manufacturing detail is not followed by a clear account, and the final “Meanwhile” promises a contrast that never arrives. Develop separate, logically ordered details for the sectors and use linking expressions to show changes over time, such as “by 1980” and “in contrast”.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some relevant task vocabulary, including “line graph”, “sectors”, “decreased”, “growth” and “surpassed”, which helps communicate the general topic and trends. There is also an attempt to vary phrasing with “tracks the changes” and “Looking first”. However, several spelling errors—“employement” and “opprtunities”—and awkward expressions such as “amongst the different sectors economy” reduce precision. “Job opportunities” is also less exact than the graph’s measure, which is the number of jobs. Aim for accurate, natural collocations and use the chart’s terminology consistently, for example “employment in the manufacturing sector” or “the number of jobs in retail”.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts both a complex overview sentence and a longer detail sentence, using contrast with “whereas”. However, control is uneven: “retail and healthcare sectors has showns” has subject–verb agreement and verb-form errors, while “where it started at the highest jobs” is not a well-formed clause. The manufacturing sentence also shifts awkwardly between “started”, “rose” and “soared”, making the time sequence difficult to follow. The final sentence fragment beginning “Meanwhile” is incomplete. Use clear past-tense clauses to describe the historical data, check singular and plural subjects, and punctuate complete sentences. For example: “Manufacturing employment rose to 20 million in 1980, then declined to 13 million by 2020.”

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