Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The line chart compares the relative variation in the number of jobs across four distinct sectors, measured in million, in the US from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, it is clealry visible that the manufacturing sector had the highest number of opportunities in 1960, while the healthcare sector had the least. Moreover, the retail sector and and healthcare sector faced a sharp incrase in the number of jobs, whereas the manufacturing and agriculture section saw a decline in their share of job opportunities.

The agricultural sector had fifteen million jobs in 1960, which was the highest among all. It faced a shard increase in next 20 years, but cuminated in a constant decrease untill 2020, and the number the least figure of almost 13 million jobs. Moreover, Agriculture sector also face a constanct decline in the number of opportunites of jobs, starting from around 6 million in 1960 and ending at around 3 million in 2020.

The other two sectors, retail and health care did not saw a decline. These both sectors kept facing a sharp increase in the number of jobs. strarting from almost six million in 1960 retail ended up around sixteen million. whereas, healthcare ended up at the same level.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You attempt an overview by identifying growth in retail and healthcare and decline in agriculture, but the report contains major misreadings that make the key features unreliable. Manufacturing, not agriculture, had the highest figure in 1960 (about 15 million); agriculture was about 6 million and declined to roughly 2 million. The claim that agriculture rose sharply to 13 million appears to confuse its figures with manufacturing. You also say healthcare ended at the same level as retail, which is broadly correct at about 16 million, but omit its strong rise from around 2 million. To improve, check each series against the chart and give an accurate overview of the main rankings and changes before selecting supporting figures.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, an overview and paragraphs intended to describe the sectors. Basic linking words such as “Overall,” “Moreover” and “whereas” help signal relationships. However, the progression is weakened by inaccurate or repeated information: the agriculture paragraph first describes a rise and then a decline, before repeating that agriculture declined. The final paragraph groups retail and healthcare but does not clearly distinguish their starting points and trajectories. Some sentence boundaries and transitions are also awkward, such as “whereas, healthcare ended up at the same level.” Organise the details by sector or by contrasting trends, and ensure each paragraph develops one clear comparison.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some task-relevant vocabulary, including “sector,” “decline,” “sharp increase” and “number of jobs,” so the topic is generally clear. However, the range is limited and several inaccurate or repetitive expressions reduce precision. “Relative variation” is not a natural description of the chart, while “share of job opportunities” suggests proportions rather than job totals. There are also noticeable spelling errors, including “clealry,” “incrase,” “untill” and “opportunites,” alongside awkward collocations such as “number of opportunities of jobs.” Use precise terms for quantities and trends, and proofread spelling. For example, describe figures as “the number of jobs” and changes as “rose” or “fell.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentences, including a relative clause in “which was the highest among all” and a contrast introduced by “whereas.” However, control is inconsistent, and frequent errors sometimes make the intended relationships difficult to follow. Examples include “the number the least figure,” “did not saw a decline,” and “These both sectors kept facing,” which show problems with sentence construction, verb forms and word order. There are also agreement and article issues, as in “the manufacturing and agriculture section.” Sentence fragments and punctuation problems appear in “starting from almost six million…” and “whereas, healthcare…”. Practise accurate past-tense reporting and complete sentence patterns before adding more complex structures.

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