Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph illustrates the number of jobs in millions of manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare in the USA from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, retail and healthcare jobs rose significantly throughout the entire given time while agriculture saw a decreasing trend. In the initial year manufacturing stood highest above all of them all but it gradually decreased and slightly bellow retail and healthcare by the end of the period.

In 1960, 15 million people were employed in manufacturing and it reached its' peak as it has 20 million jobholders in 1980. following this, healthcare has the least jobs in 1960 with almost 3 million but it surpasses every other job by the year 2020.

Meanwhile, retail and agriculture jobs were started at the same point with the number 6 million. Retail jobs grew steadily over the year. It almost increased by half in 1980 and, by the year 2000 it rose to 15 million and almost 16 million in the following year which is the year 2000. In contrast, agriculture faces a dramatic drop in the year 1980 at approximetly 3 million jobs which stayed steady until 2000 and it dropped slightly in 2000.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the main overall patterns: retail and healthcare rise, agriculture declines, and manufacturing peaks before falling. The opening comparison that manufacturing is highest in 1960 and ends below the two rising sectors is also relevant. However, some details are unclear or inaccurate: healthcare has 2 million jobs in 1960, not almost 3 million, and it ties with retail at about 16 million in 2020 rather than surpassing every sector. The final retail sentence confuses the years, and the agriculture decline is described as occurring in 2000 rather than from 2000 to 2020. These unevenly developed details keep the summary from presenting the key data consistently. Check each figure and year against the graph, and state the final ranking precisely.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear four-paragraph structure, moving from an introduction and overview to details about manufacturing and healthcare, then retail and agriculture. This gives the reader a generally coherent route through the information. Linking expressions such as “Overall,” “following this,” and “In contrast” help signal relationships. However, progression within the final paragraph becomes difficult to follow: the retail figures are assigned to conflicting years, and “it dropped slightly in 2000” does not clearly identify the period or series. Some transitions also connect details without a clear comparison. To improve, group each sector’s figures in chronological order and use explicit year references and pronouns so that every comparison is easy to track.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a reasonable range of task-related vocabulary, including “rose significantly,” “decreasing trend,” “reached its peak,” and “surpasses.” These choices communicate the broad movements and show some variety beyond basic verbs. However, several expressions are inaccurate or awkward for describing a graph: “jobs were started at the same point,” “faces a dramatic drop,” and “jobholders” are not natural choices here. There are also spelling errors in “bellow” and “approximetly,” while “slightly” does not accurately describe the substantial fall in agriculture from 6 million to 2 million. Aim for precise, conventional collocations and check spelling; for example, describe a sector’s employment as “stood at,” “increased,” or “declined.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including the contrast in “In the initial year manufacturing stood highest … but it gradually decreased” and the clause beginning “which stayed steady.” The main meaning is usually recoverable, but some grammatical errors remain. For example, “following this, healthcare has the least jobs” shifts tense and has an incorrect superlative construction; “retail and agriculture jobs were started” uses an unsuitable passive form; and “it reached its' peak as it has 20 million” contains faulty tense and possessive punctuation. Capitalisation after a full stop is also inconsistent. Use past tense consistently for this historical graph, and practise accurate clauses such as “Healthcare had the fewest jobs” and “Retail and agriculture both stood at 6 million.”

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