Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

THE LINE CHART ILLUSTRATES THE INFORMATION TO THE NUMBER OF JOBS IN FOUR SECTORS OF THE ECONOMMY IN US BETWEEN 1960 AND 2020.

OVERALL, FOUR SECTORS OF ECONOMY ARE DEMONSTRATED IN THE PICTURE INCLUDING MANUFACTURING, RETAIL, AGRICULTURE AND THE LAST ONE IS HEALTHCARE WITH THEIR DISTINCT STAGES. THE NUMBER OF JOBS FOR AGRICULTURE DECLINED PERSISTENTLY IN ENTIRE 20 YEARS WHILE THE RETAIL AND HEALTHCARE HAD INCREASED CONSISTENTLY OVER THE SAME PERIOD OF TIME. HOWEVER, THE NUMBER OF JOBS IN MANUFACTURING HAD MANY UPS AND DOWNS .

TO BEGIN WITH RERAIL ,THE NUMBER OF JOBS IS 5 MILLION IN 1960 WHICH SLIGHTLY INCLINED TO 10 MILLION IN 1980 FOLLOWED BY RISE ONWARDS. IT WAS ABOUT 15 MILLION IN 2000 AND LITTLE CLIMB OF 1 ERCENT THAT WAS 16 MILLION IN 2020. IN HEALTHCARE, THE JOBS REGULARLY RISED THAT WAS ESTIMATE UP TO 2 MILLION IN 1960 AND 5 MILLION IN 1980 FOLLOWED BY INCREASED ONWARDS. THERE WAS APPROXIMATELY 11 MILLION IN 2000 AND SPIKE WITH 16 MILLIONS IN 2020.

IN AGRICULTURE, THE NUMBER OF JOBS HAD LITTLE BY LITTLE DROP THAT WAS CLOSE BY 6 MILLIONS IN 196O AND SAME IN 1980 AND 2000 WHICH IS 4 MILLION ALONG WITH 3 MILLION IN 2020. LASTLY, THERE WAS A MANUFACTURING WHICH WAS PROBABLY 15 MILLION IN 1960 AND THEN SPIKE ON 20 MILLION IN 1980 FOLLOWED BY CURTAIL ONWARDS THAT WAS NEAR TO 17 MILLION IN 2000 ALONG WITH 12 MILLION IIN 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You cover all four sectors and include an overview, identifying the broad rise in retail and healthcare and the decline in agriculture. Several key details are also reported, such as manufacturing peaking in 1980 and healthcare reaching about 16 million by 2020. However, the overview is not fully accurate: manufacturing does not have “many ups and downs”; it rises to a peak and then declines. Agriculture falls from about 6 million to 2 million, rather than remaining at 6 million in 1980 and 2000 or ending at 3 million. The claim that agriculture declined over the “entire 20 years” also misstates the chart’s 60-year period. More accurate comparisons and a clearer summary of the main changes would make the response more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, an overview, and separate paragraphs describing the sectors. This helps the reader locate the information, and sequencing phrases such as “To begin with” and “Lastly” signal transitions. However, progression is sometimes mechanical, and the overview repeats the sector names without clearly prioritising the main comparisons. Some links are unclear or awkward, as in “followed by rise onwards” and “along with 3 million in 2020”; the latter does not clearly show how the figures relate. Grouping the two rising sectors together and the two declining or peaking sectors together, then using precise comparisons, would create a clearer line of development and reduce reliance on formulaic transitions.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use relevant chart vocabulary, including “declined,” “increased,” “approximately,” and “spike,” and the reader can generally identify the trends you intend to describe. However, word choice and collocation are often inaccurate or unnatural: “the information to the number,” “slightly inclined,” “jobs regularly rised,” and “curtail onwards” do not express the data clearly. There are also noticeable spelling and form errors, including “econommy,” “rerail,” “erc ent,” and “iIn.” These issues sometimes make the description harder to follow, despite the relevant vocabulary. Aim for a smaller set of accurate reporting verbs and standard phrases such as “rose to,” “fell to,” “peaked at,” and “stood at,” and check spelling carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentences, including clauses linked with “while,” “which,” and “followed by.” However, complex constructions are often faulty, and errors occur frequently enough to affect clarity. For example, “the number of jobs for agriculture declined persistently in entire 20 years” has problems with the article and time expression, while “the number of jobs is 5 million in 1960 which slightly inclined” shifts tense and lacks a clear grammatical connection. There are also errors in agreement and number, such as “16 millions,” and sentence boundaries and punctuation are inconsistent. Use past tense consistently for the historical data, build shorter accurate sentences first, and then add subordinate clauses where the relationship between figures is clear.

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