Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph illustrates the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in US from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, the line graph gives the information of jobs in four sectors, manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare between 1960 and 2020. Whereas retail jobs were increased as the time passes and jobs in agriculture were decreased.

The number of jobs in manufacturing rose gradually from 15 million to 20 million in 1980 and then dipped sharply to 13 million in 2020. Then the number of jobs in retail surged rapidly from 6 million to 16 million in 2020.

On the other hand, number of jobs in agriculture were decreased suddenly in 1960 and then remained stable in 1980 to 2000. Then jobs of agriculture were moderately decreased in 2020. At last, jobs of healthcare were jumped abruptly from 3 million 1960 to 16 million in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify all four sectors and report several key movements, including manufacturing peaking at 20 million in 1980 and agriculture declining overall. However, the overview is incomplete: it does not highlight that healthcare and retail both reached about 16 million by 2020, or that manufacturing was the largest sector initially while retail and healthcare caught up. Some details are inaccurate or unclear: agriculture fell from 6 million to 3 million by 1980, not suddenly in 1960, and healthcare began at 2 million rather than 3 million. The response is also 135 words, below the 150-word minimum, which limits the development and comparison of the data. Add a fuller overview and accurate comparisons across the years.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a basic paragraph structure, moving from an introduction and overview to descriptions of the sectors. This gives the reader a general sense of the topic. However, progression is limited because the overview repeats the introduction by listing the sectors again, and the final paragraph begins with “On the other hand” without a clear contrast with the preceding information. “Then” and “At last” are used mechanically, while the sector details are not consistently grouped to make comparisons easy to follow. Organise the body around related trends—for example, rising sectors together and declining sectors together—and use linking phrases that show the actual relationship between the data. This would make the report more coherent and less repetitive.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for describing trends, including “rose,” “dipped,” “surged,” and “remained stable,” so the main movements are generally understandable. However, the range is limited and several choices or combinations are unnatural, such as “gives the information of jobs,” “jobs of agriculture,” and “were jumped abruptly.” Repeating “number of jobs” also makes the report less precise. Choose standard chart-reporting collocations and vary them appropriately, such as “employment in agriculture” or “the figure for healthcare.” Be careful to distinguish the strength and direction of changes: “fell” or “declined” is more suitable than “decreased suddenly” when describing the gradual movement shown. These refinements would improve clarity and naturalness.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex forms, including the contrast structure beginning “Whereas” and the sequence “rose … and then dipped.” However, errors are frequent enough to make some sentences awkward. For example, “retail jobs were increased” uses an incorrect passive form; “jobs in agriculture were decreased” has the same problem. The sentence “from 3 million 1960” is missing “in,” and “the number of jobs in retail” would need a clearer article and consistent sentence structure in context. There are also tense and agreement problems in the overview. Use active intransitive verbs for trends—“increased,” “fell,” and “remained”—and check articles, prepositions, and subject–verb agreement. More accurate control of these patterns is needed.

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