Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.5)

This line graph illustrate ammount of jobs in manufacturing, retail, agriculture and heath in the Unitesed stared of America between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, Manifacturing started out the with most number of jobs, but experienced a significant drop at the end of the period. In contrast, jobs in retail and health care went through dramatic rise and overtook manufacturing, becoming the largest jobs in 2020.

Manufacturing jobs increased sharply reaching around 20 million jobs in 1980 before experiencing siginificant decrease through out the period reaching a low point of under 15 million in 2020. Agricuture also experienced consiberably loss of jobs, starting at 5 million jobs, it plateaued at around 4 million betweem 1980 and 2000, eventually losing slightly more jobs in 2020.

Health care jobs had the most dramatic rise starting at only approximately only 2 million jobs. Amount of jobs grew sharply reaching over 10 million in 2000 and overtook manufacturing reaching its peak of around 16 million jobs in 2020. Moreover, retail jobs also experience substantial growth initally from 5 million to over 15 million in 2000 before stabilizing around same number as healthcare just over 15 million.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.5

The response gives a clear overview of the main shifts: manufacturing peaks in 1980 and then declines, while retail and healthcare rise to become the largest sectors by 2020. It also covers agriculture’s downward trend and supports the overview with figures for each sector. Most reported values are close to the chart, but agriculture is understated at the start and during its plateau: it begins at about 6 million, not 5 million, and remains near 3 million from 1980 to 2000, rather than around 4 million. The claim that healthcare overtook manufacturing is accurate by 2020, though the timing could be made clearer. More precise comparisons and closer data selection would strengthen an otherwise well-focused summary.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The response is organised into an introduction, a clear overview, and two detail paragraphs, with manufacturing and agriculture discussed before healthcare and retail. This gives the reader a logical route through the information. Linking phrases such as “Overall,” “In contrast,” and “Moreover” help signal relationships, and the comparison between the rising sectors and manufacturing is easy to follow. Some connections are less smooth: the agriculture sentence beginning “starting at 5 million jobs” is attached awkwardly to the preceding clause, and “Moreover” introduces retail without a particularly strong additive relationship. The paragraphing and progression are effective, but more controlled sentence linking and clearer grouping of comparable trends would make cohesion more flexible.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The response attempts a useful range of trend vocabulary, including “increased sharply,” “plateaued,” “dramatic rise,” “substantial growth,” and “stabilizing.” These choices suit a graph summary and help distinguish the sectors’ movements. However, spelling errors are frequent and sometimes affect readability, for example “ammount,” “Manifacturing,” “siginificant,” and “Agricuture.” There are also inaccurate or awkward expressions, such as “most number of jobs,” “experienced considerably loss,” and “same number as healthcare.” These prevent the vocabulary from being consistently clear and natural, despite the range of attempted terms. Focus on accurate spelling and standard collocations for describing quantities and trends.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

There is a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including contrast clauses (“but experienced a significant drop”) and participle constructions (“reaching around 20 million… before experiencing…”). The overall meaning remains clear, and the response uses past-tense reporting appropriately in several places. Some grammatical errors remain, however: the opening has subject–verb disagreement in “graph illustrate,” and “started out the with” contains an article and word-order problem. The agriculture sentence beginning “starting at…” is a comma splice, while “jobs also experience” shifts incorrectly to the present tense. Repeated “only” in the healthcare sentence and missing or misplaced articles also reduce accuracy. More careful editing of agreement, tense consistency, and sentence boundaries would improve control.

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