Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

jobs in four sectors of the economy in the us 1960 to 2020

the lowest point of the diagram is agriculture its down 5millions to 0 millions

the gorwth of health is increase 0 to 15 millions

the third growth sector according the diagram is retail sector which is gone 5 to 15 millions same a the healthcare job

and the last manufacturing is at 15 million in 1960 and it increase 20 millions from 1960 to 1980 between and its start downfall and at the last its economy comes end between 10 to 15 million

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You identify all four sectors and attempt to describe their direction of change, so the response is relevant to the graph. However, several figures are inaccurate: agriculture falls from about 6 million to 2 million, not from 5 million to zero; healthcare rises from about 2 million to 16 million, not from zero to 15 million; and retail rises from 6 million to 16 million. The manufacturing description is closer, but its final value is about 13 million. There is no clear overview of the main comparisons, such as manufacturing peaking in 1980 and healthcare and retail ending highest. The response is also 85 words, below the 150-word minimum, and needs more accurate, developed reporting.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The response follows a basic sector-by-sector order and uses a few linking expressions, including “and” and “between 1960 to 1980.” This gives the reader some indication of how the information is connected. However, the ideas are presented as one continuous block rather than in clearly organised paragraphs, and the sequence of comparisons is difficult to follow. Phrases such as “the third growth sector” and “the last manufacturing” do not make the intended relationships clear. Organise the response into an introduction, an overview, and detail paragraphs, then use clear links such as “By contrast” or “Meanwhile” to show how the trends relate.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some relevant vocabulary for describing charts, including “increase,” “downfall,” “sector,” and “million,” and you attempt to distinguish growth from decline. However, the range is basic and several choices or forms make the meaning unclear. For example, “the growth of health is increase” is not a natural way to describe the trend, while “its economy comes end” does not clearly express the manufacturing figure. Spelling errors such as “gorwth” also reduce accuracy. Use precise trend language and check spelling: for example, describe a sector as rising, declining, peaking, or remaining stable, and use “jobs” consistently when reporting quantities.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts to form sentences that compare values over time, but grammatical control is limited and errors frequently make relationships difficult to understand. Examples include “its down 5millions to 0 millions,” “the growth of health is increase,” and “it increase 20 millions from 1960 to 1980 between.” These show problems with verb forms, sentence construction, articles, and prepositions. Most statements rely on simple structures, with little accurate variety. Build clear sentences using a subject, a correctly formed verb, and a comparison—for example, “Healthcare employment rose from about 2 million in 1960 to 16 million in 2020.” Check punctuation and separate each trend into its own sentence.

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