Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-07
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The line graph illustrates the number of jobs in four sectors of economy in the us between 1960 and 2020.
overall, Retail and Healthcare rapidly rose to higher among four sector well under 60 year period. In constrast, agriculture and manufacturing experience huge downward.
In 1960, Manufacturing had the highest employer, providing with approximately 15 million jobs. this figure at peaks at 20 million in 1980 before steadily dropped over the next 40year to finish at nearly 13 million in 2020. meanwhile, Agriculture started at around 6 million in 1980 and gradually fell to just under 2 million by the end of the period 2020.
conversely, Healthcare dramatically climbed from 2 million jobs lowest position in 1960 to well over 11 million in 2000 ultimately become largest sectors at to roughly 16 million job in 2020 . retail followd same pattern start growing from 6 million in 1960 to just over 10 million in 2000 and ending same as health care at around 16 million in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5
You identify the main contrast: retail and healthcare rise, while agriculture declines and manufacturing falls after peaking. The overview and selected figures are mostly grounded in the graph, including manufacturing’s peak of about 20 million and the two rising sectors reaching roughly 16 million by 2020. This covers the task well, though some details are less fully or accurately reported: agriculture began at about 6 million in 1960, not 1980, and retail was around 15 million in 2000 rather than just over 10 million. The overview also overstates the decline by grouping manufacturing with agriculture across the whole period, despite manufacturing’s initial rise. More precise comparisons and a clearer account of each trend would strengthen the report.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0
The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, an overview, and two detail paragraphs contrasting declining and rising sectors. Linking expressions such as “In contrast” and “Conversely” help signal these comparisons, and the information generally progresses from the overview to specific figures. However, cohesion is sometimes mechanical or unclear. The second paragraph groups manufacturing and agriculture, but the manufacturing trend first rises, so the connection does not fully fit. In the final paragraph, “retail followd same pattern” is vague because retail and healthcare do not rise at the same rate. Use clearer topic sentences and references, and group the sectors according to their actual trends to make the progression more precise.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
You use a reasonable range of trend vocabulary, including “rapidly rose,” “steadily dropped,” “dramatically climbed,” and “finish,” which helps describe changes over time. Some choices, however, are inaccurate or unnatural for this task: “rose to higher among four sector,” “highest employer,” and “experience huge downward” do not express the intended comparisons clearly. There are also spelling and form errors, such as “constrast” and “followd,” alongside inconsistent capitalisation of “US.” These slips sometimes make the reader work to interpret the meaning. Aim for precise chart language and standard collocations, for example, “increased to become one of the largest sectors” and “employment declined substantially.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
You attempt both simple and more extended sentence forms, including clauses linked with “before” and “while,” and the overall meaning is usually recoverable. However, grammatical control is uneven, with errors in verb forms, articles, agreement, and sentence construction. For example, “this figure at peaks at 20 million” has an incorrect verb form, while “ultimately become largest sectors” lacks a correctly formed verb and article. “Manufacturing had the highest employer, providing with approximately 15 million jobs” also has an incomplete grammatical pattern. Capitalisation and punctuation are inconsistent, including sentence openings such as “this” and a space before the final full stop. Practise accurate past-tense reporting and check each sentence for a complete subject–verb structure.
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