Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The line graph depicts the data on the amount of jobs in America for four different economical sectors from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, healthcare and retail sectors rose significantly with time, however; manufacturing offered the most jobs in the beginning but fell slightly after facing a sharp rise. Agriculture on the other hand remained low with no significant change.

Healthcare and retail sectors remained low in the beginning, offering 2 million and 6 million jobs respectively, however this number constantly increased and concided at approximately 15 million in 2020. On the other hand, manufacturing offered the highest number of jobs in 1960 which peaked at 20 million, making it the highest number in 60 years, nevertheless, it steadily declined afterwards and fell below other two sectors.

Agriculture stood at the same level as retail sectors but it declined steadily from 5.5 million to 3.5 million in 1990, this number remained stable in the next 40 years.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You identify the main broad patterns: healthcare and retail rise, agriculture remains the smallest sector, and manufacturing peaks before declining. The overview is relevant, and you include several figures to support it. However, some details are inaccurate or unclear: manufacturing peaks at 20 million in 1980, not simply after a rise without a clear date, and it does not fall below both other sectors by 2020; it ends at 13 million, below retail and healthcare but above agriculture. Retail and healthcare reach about 16 million each in 2020, rather than converging at 15 million. Agriculture falls from about 6 million in 1960 to 2 million in 2020, not from 5.5 to 3.5 by 1990. More precise comparisons and coverage of the key stages would strengthen the report.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, an overview, and paragraphs describing the rising sectors and agriculture. This gives the reader a coherent route through the information, and contrasts such as “On the other hand” help signal comparisons. However, some links are mechanical or confusing. The long overview sentence joined by “however” and “but” combines several trends without clearly separating them, while “this number” is not always clear about which sector or figure it refers to. The final paragraph also introduces agriculture without connecting its figures to the earlier comparison with retail. Grouping the sectors more consistently and using clearer references would make progression smoother and cohesion more flexible.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.5

You use a suitable range of vocabulary for describing trends, including “rose significantly,” “peaked,” “declined,” and “remained stable.” These choices communicate the main movements, and the response is generally understandable. Some word choices and collocations are inaccurate or imprecise, however: “amount of jobs” is less natural than “number of jobs,” “economical sectors” should be “economic sectors,” and “offered jobs” is not the usual way to describe employment figures. “Concided” is also misspelled, and “fell below other two sectors” is unclear. The vocabulary is adequate for the task, but more precise chart language and careful spelling would improve control and make comparisons easier to follow.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentences, including clauses introduced by “however,” “but,” and “which,” and most of the intended meaning can be understood. Some grammatical and punctuation errors remain. For example, “however;” is incorrectly punctuated, and the sentence beginning “Overall” needs clearer punctuation around the contrast. In “fell below other two sectors,” the article is missing, while “this number constantly increased” has an unclear reference and awkward agreement with the plural sector figures. The final sentence also shifts from the chart’s four labelled years to “1990” and “the next 40 years,” making the time reference difficult to interpret. More controlled sentence boundaries and accurate articles and references would strengthen accuracy.

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