Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

THE GRAPH REPRESENT THE ECONOMY OF US IN VARY JOBS LIKE MANUFACTURING, RETAIL, AGRICULTURE, HEALTHCARE SECTOR BETWEEN 1960 TO 2020.

THE MANUFACTURING PART OF THE ECONOMY WAS THE HIGHEST AMONG ALL BY 1960 WHERAS, IT REACHED TO THE PEAK BY 1980 AND FACED A STEEPLY DECREASED FIGURES SUPRRASING RETAIL AND AGRICULTURE BY 2020.

IN 1960, PEOPLE ALMOST 15 MILLIONS WAS INVOLVED IN MANUFACTURING UNIT WHILE IT CLIMED TO PEAK AT 20 MILLIONS BY 1980 . IT UNDERGOES VAST DOWNFALL CROSSING RETAIL AND AGRICULTURE HAVING 13 MILLIONS BY 2020.WHERAS, BOTH RETAIL AND AGRICULTURE ZONE STARTED WITH ALMOST 6 MILLIONS OF JOBS OPPURTUNITIES , STEADILY INCREASED FIGURE WAS OBSERVED BY RETAIL CROSSING MANUFACTURING DIVISION AND MEETING 16 MILLIONS :HIGHEST OF ALL .BUT, AGRICULTURE SLIGHTY COLLAPSE ABOUT 3 MILLIONS JOB OPPURTUNITIES AND REMAIN STABLE BY 2020.

HEALTHCARE WAS THE ONE WITH 2 MILLIONS, PASS OVER AGRICULTURE AND MANUFACTURING UNITS OVER THE YEAR 2000 AND 2020 AND ENCOUNTER WITH RETAIL AT 16 MILLIONS JOB CHANCE BY 2020 WAS THE MOST PREFERED CLASS OF ECONOMY HAVING PERFECT SURGE TILL 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the main sectors and report several important trends: manufacturing peaks in 1980 before declining, retail rises, agriculture falls, and healthcare grows strongly to meet retail at the end. The figures you give for manufacturing and the final retail/healthcare levels broadly match the chart. However, some comparisons are unclear or inaccurate. In particular, retail does not overtake manufacturing by 2020: it reaches about 16 million while manufacturing is about 13 million, so it does finish higher, but the timing of the crossover is not specified. Healthcare passes agriculture and manufacturing by 2000/2020, but the wording makes the timing difficult to follow. Agriculture is described as stable, although it falls from about 3 million to 2 million after 1980. A clearer overview and more precise comparisons would strengthen the report.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response groups related information into paragraphs and generally moves from manufacturing to the other sectors, so the reader can identify the broad subject and some trends. However, progression within the long second and third paragraphs is difficult to follow, especially where several sectors and time points are combined in one sentence. Connectors such as “while,” “whereas,” “but,” and “and” are used repeatedly, sometimes without making the relationship between ideas clear. For example, the sentence beginning “Healthcare was the one with 2 millions” combines its starting value, later crossings, and final comparison without clear sequencing. Use a brief overview paragraph, then separate the main trends into focused paragraphs and use time markers such as “by 2000” and “by 2020” to guide the reader.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt a range of vocabulary to describe change, including “peak,” “downfall,” “steadily increased,” and “surge,” and the sector names are appropriate to the task. However, many choices are inaccurate or unnatural for describing a graph, which sometimes makes the meaning hard to interpret. Phrases such as “people … was involved,” “job chance,” “slightly collapse,” and “most preferred class of economy” do not express the intended data clearly. There are also noticeable spelling errors, including “wheras,” “climed,” “oppurtunities,” and “prefered.” Prefer standard, precise reporting language such as “the number of jobs,” “rose,” “declined,” and “remained stable,” and check spelling carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentence forms, including clauses linked with “while” and “whereas,” but control is inconsistent. Errors in agreement and verb forms appear in examples such as “The graph represent,” “15 millions was involved,” and “steadily increased figure was observed.” Articles and sentence construction are also problematic: “the manufacturing part … was the highest” and “Healthcare was the one with 2 millions” are not formed naturally. Several sentences run together or lack clear punctuation, particularly the final sentence, which makes the sequence of events difficult to follow. Build accuracy with straightforward patterns such as “Manufacturing employed 15 million people in 1960” and “Healthcare rose to 16 million by 2020,” then combine clauses only when their relationship is clear.

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