Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The graph illustrates information about the number of jobs in four sectors such as manufacturing, retail, agricuiture, healthcare in the economy of US between 1960 and 2020.

overall, manufacturing and agriculture shows down trand other side of hand, retail and health care shows up trand in 2020

manufacturing staned at 15 millions jobs in 1960 it shows gradualy increase in the year 1980 by 20 millions jobs then it constantly shows down trand and it drag at 13 millions job in 2020. retail has 6 millions jobs in 1960 it shows continiously growth and it reach 16 million jobs in 2020.

healthcare hold their position at 2.5 millions jobs in 1960 it growed at 5 millions job in 1980 then it increased fastly and reach 16 millions jobs in 2020. agriculture hold 6 millions jobs in 1960 then it show decrease trand by 2.5 millions jobs in 1980 it is stable in 2000 also then in 2020 is decrease by 2 millions jobs.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You cover all four sectors and identify the main contrast: manufacturing and agriculture decline overall, while retail and healthcare rise. Several figures are accurate, including manufacturing’s peak of 20 million in 1980 and its fall to 13 million by 2020, as well as retail reaching 16 million. This supports a clear overview and shows good selection of relevant trends. However, some details are imprecise: healthcare begins at about 2 million, not 2.5 million, and agriculture falls to about 3 million in 1980, rather than 2.5 million. The overview could also state that healthcare and retail finish at similar levels and that manufacturing is the highest sector in 1980. More precise comparisons and a fuller overview would strengthen the response.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, an overview, and details about the four sectors. Grouping the two declining sectors and the two rising sectors in the overview is a useful organising choice. However, progression within the body is not always smooth, and the sector details are presented in long, loosely connected sentences. Linking expressions such as “then” and “also” are repeated, while phrases such as “other side of hand” do not clearly signal the intended contrast. Paragraphing is limited, and the overview is not clearly separated from the data description. Use distinct paragraphs for the overview and grouped details, and connect comparisons explicitly—for example, contrast healthcare’s rise with manufacturing’s decline.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use relevant topic vocabulary, including “manufacturing,” “retail,” “agriculture,” “healthcare,” “increase,” and “decrease,” so the main trends can generally be understood. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, such as “shows down trand,” “hold their position,” and “increased fastly.” Spelling errors, including “agricuiture,” “staned,” and “continiously,” also reduce clarity and control. Aim for precise, conventional language for describing charts, and check spelling carefully. A wider set of accurate trend verbs and comparison phrases would help you report changes more naturally without relying repeatedly on “shows” and “then.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You communicate the broad trends using mostly simple clauses, and some sentence patterns are understandable, such as “it increased … and reach 16 millions jobs in 2020.” However, control of sentence structure and basic grammar is inconsistent. Subject–verb agreement is incorrect in “manufacturing and agriculture shows,” and verb forms are faulty in “it growed” and “it reach.” Articles, plurals, and sentence boundaries also need attention: “15 millions jobs” should be “15 million jobs,” and several sentences run together without clear punctuation. The response relies heavily on simple clauses joined by “then.” Practise accurate past-tense reporting and combine clauses with controlled structures such as “while” or “whereas” to improve both range and accuracy.

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