Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.0)

The line graph illustrates the data regarding the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, at the begin manufacturing sectors had a millions of jobs but this figure fell to at the end. While, the both healthcare and retail saw a most dramatic change over the period. Moreover, agriculture made up the lowest figure through out the framework

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.0

You identify the graph’s subject and period, and your overview attempts to highlight the main patterns: manufacturing declines by the end, healthcare and retail change substantially, and agriculture remains the smallest sector. However, the overview is incomplete and several claims are too vague to show the actual comparisons. Manufacturing rises from 15 million jobs in 1960 to 20 million in 1980 before falling to 13 million; retail and healthcare both finish at about 16 million. No figures or detailed trends are reported. Most importantly, the response is only 51 words, well below the required 150, and therefore leaves the task substantially unfinished. Develop the overview and add selected figures and comparisons for all four sectors.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The response has a basic overall shape: an introductory sentence followed by an overview, and the ideas are broadly related to the graph. This gives the reader a simple progression from topic to general trends. However, there is no detailed body paragraph, so the information is not developed or grouped into a clear account of the data. The linking words “While” and “Moreover” do not create clear relationships between the points; “While” is also left as a fragment. The overview’s claims are compressed together, making the progression difficult to follow. Organise the response into an introduction, a concise overview, and one or two paragraphs comparing the sectors, using links such as “By contrast” or “Meanwhile” where appropriate.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some relevant vocabulary for describing a graph, including “illustrates,” “figure,” “dramatic change,” and “lowest.” These choices show an attempt to use language beyond simply repeating the task wording. However, the range is narrow, and several expressions are inaccurate or unnatural: “at the begin,” “a millions of jobs,” and “through out the framework.” “Framework” does not naturally describe the period shown, and “dramatic” is not sufficiently precise without supporting details. Use standard trend language and accurate collocations, such as “at the beginning of the period,” “the number of jobs,” “declined,” and “remained the smallest sector.” More precise vocabulary would also help distinguish rises, falls, and stable periods.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both a complex opening sentence and an overview, but the grammatical control is inconsistent. In “at the begin manufacturing sectors had a millions of jobs,” the article and noun phrase are faulty, and the sentence does not state a clear starting value. “While, the both healthcare and retail saw a most dramatic change” has incorrect punctuation and article use, and it is not a complete independent sentence. The final clause, “agriculture made up the lowest figure,” is also awkwardly constructed. These errors make parts of the message difficult to interpret. Practise complete sentence structures and accurate articles, for example: “Manufacturing employed 15 million people in 1960, while agriculture and retail each had about 6 million.” Add varied but controlled comparisons in full sentences.

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