Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph illustrates the number of vacancies in job sectors for manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare from 1960 to 2020.

The Manufacturing sector is the leading sector for jobs till 2000 followed by retail and healthcare sector. The manufacturing sector is rose and then drop after 1980, whereas other sectors increased gradually, except agriculture. The agricultural jobs have been in decline and have fallen simultaneously throughout the years, till 2020.

Moreover, the growth of the retail and healthcare sectors was thrived and escalated year-to-year; there was a significant drop in the growth of the manufacturing sector after 1980, which continued to dip. The retail sector and Healthcare sector record the same contribution to the US economy in 2020.

Lastly, the retail sector and healthcare sector showed increased leverage in the US economy compared to the other two sectors. The manufacturing sector surged initially but declined at the end. The worst sector that contributed to the US economy is agriculture.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the main broad patterns: manufacturing rises to a peak and then declines, agriculture falls, and retail and healthcare grow. You also correctly note that retail and healthcare reach the same level in 2020. However, some comparisons are imprecise or unsupported. Manufacturing is not the leading sector throughout the period: by 2000, retail is at about 15 million jobs, compared with manufacturing at 17 million, and healthcare is about 11 million. The claim that agriculture fell “simultaneously throughout” is also inaccurate because it remains roughly stable between 1980 and 2000. The overview is present, but it would be stronger with key figures and a clearer account of how the sector rankings change over time.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure, moving from an introduction to broad trends and then comparisons, and linking expressions such as “Moreover” and “Lastly” help signal progression. However, the organisation is somewhat repetitive: the manufacturing decline and the growth of retail and healthcare are mentioned more than once without adding much detail. Some references are also unclear, particularly “other sectors increased gradually, except agriculture,” which groups together trends that differ substantially. A more effective progression would be to give a concise overview first, then compare the declining sectors with the growing ones, using figures to connect each point. This would make the relationships between the data easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use a reasonable range of vocabulary for describing trends, including “decline,” “significant drop,” “surged,” and “contribution.” These choices show an attempt to vary language rather than repeat basic terms. However, several expressions are inaccurate or unnatural in this context: “vacancies” suggests unfilled positions rather than the number of jobs, “growth … was thrived” is not a natural collocation, and “increased leverage” does not clearly describe employment figures. “Worst sector” is also an imprecise and evaluative way to describe agriculture’s lower job total. Prefer direct, data-focused wording such as “employment,” “rose,” “fell,” and “had the fewest jobs.” This would improve precision while retaining an adequate range.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use both simple and more complex sentence forms, including contrast clauses with “whereas” and a sentence beginning “although” is not needed to express the comparisons. Most of your meaning remains understandable, but some grammatical errors are noticeable. For example, “the manufacturing sector is rose” combines an incorrect verb form with an unnecessary auxiliary; write “manufacturing rose.” In “the growth … was thrived,” the verb form is also faulty. The sentence “The Manufacturing sector is the leading sector for jobs till 2000” has an awkward tense for describing a completed period, and “retail and healthcare sector” needs clearer plural agreement or an article. Check verb forms, tense consistency, and singular/plural agreement when revising.

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