Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph compares the number of jobs in four economy sectors over a period of eighty years, from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, it is clear that retail and healthcare increased over the time period and agriculture experienced a decline. In addition, retail had the highest number of jobs while agriculture had the lowest.

Looking at the detail, manufacturing job market started at approximately at fifteen million jobs in 1960 and then decreased gradually to eleven million by 2020. Similarly, retail and healthcare showed upward trend from seven million to fifteen million in retail sector, and two million of jobs to fifteen million in healthcare sector, during the same period.

Apart from all, agriculture followed the different trend with decreased number of jobs from 1980 to 2020. By the end of period, retail recorded the highest number of jobs and agriculture recorded the lowest number of jobs among the four sector of economy in the US.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You provide a relevant overview, identifying the rise in retail and healthcare and the decline in agriculture, and you note that agriculture ended as the smallest sector. However, the overview is not fully accurate: manufacturing peaked at 20 million in 1980 before falling, and retail and healthcare were joint-highest at about 16 million in 2020. Some figures and trends also need correction. Manufacturing fell from about 17 million in 2000 to 13 million in 2020, not gradually to 11 million; retail rose from 6 to 16 million, while healthcare rose from 2 to 16 million. Agriculture’s decline began before 1980, rather than only from that year. Selecting and comparing these key stages more precisely would make the report more complete and clear.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, an overview, and two detail paragraphs. The main trends are grouped sensibly, and phrases such as “Overall” and “Looking at the detail” help signal the structure. However, the progression within the detail is not always smooth. The second paragraph combines manufacturing, retail and healthcare, while the final paragraph returns to agriculture and repeats the ending comparison already made in the overview. “Apart from all” is also an awkward transition, and “Similarly” does not clearly explain the relationship between the retail and healthcare figures. Grouping the sectors by contrasting trends and using more precise links between comparisons would make cohesion less mechanical.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of task-related vocabulary, including “increased,” “decline,” “upward trend,” and “recorded the highest number,” so the main information is understandable. There are also some imprecise or unnatural choices that limit flexibility. “Manufacturing job market” is not the clearest way to describe the number of jobs in that sector, and “Apart from all” does not work naturally as a linking phrase. Repetition of “number of jobs” and “sector” could also be reduced with alternatives such as employment, workforce, or industry. Aim for accurate collocations and use vocabulary that describes the data directly; this will make comparisons more concise and precise.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.5

You use a mix of simple and more complex forms, including the opening time clause and the contrast introduced by “while.” Most sentences communicate the intended trends, and errors do not prevent understanding. Some grammatical inaccuracies remain: “started at approximately at fifteen million” repeats the preposition, “showed upward trend” needs an article, and “two million of jobs” uses an incorrect construction. In “agriculture experienced a decline,” the phrasing is grammatically sound, but later “with decreased number of jobs” needs an article or a different structure. There are also plural and article issues in “the four sector.” Continue checking articles, prepositions, and noun forms, while retaining the sentence variety already present.

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