Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-07
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The graph illustrates the number of job vacancies in four sectors of the economy in United States from the year 1960 to 2020.
The most number of jobs can be seen in manufacturing industry in 1980 but the retail and healthcare region end up being the highest, whereas agriculture area while being at already low rate faced decline in the vacancies till 2020.
The jobs in manufacturing industry showed inclined graph starting from 1960 till 1980 giving rise of 5 million jobs in two decades then faced a dramatic decline (among all sectors) till around 13 million in year 2020.
Retail and healthcare sectors showed significant growth over the period hitting around 16 million jobs till 2020.
The number of jobs in agriculture region showed a downward trend since the very beginning starting from almost 6 million jobs in 1960 and going down to around 2 million jobs in the year 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0
You identify the main patterns: manufacturing peaks in 1980 before falling, retail and healthcare rise, and agriculture declines. The figures you give for manufacturing and agriculture are broadly consistent with the chart, and you note that retail and healthcare both reach about 16 million by 2020. However, the overview is unclear when it says these sectors “end up being the highest”: they are joint-highest in 2020, while manufacturing was highest in 1980. The account of retail and healthcare is also underdeveloped because it groups their growth together without comparing their different starting points or trajectories. A clearer overview distinguishing the manufacturing peak from the shared 2020 lead, supported by a few key comparisons, would make the summary more complete and precise.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, an overview, and paragraphs describing the main trends. This gives the reader a generally coherent route through the information. However, progression is weakened by unclear phrasing in the overview (“the retail and healthcare region end up being the highest”) and by repetition: the final paragraph repeats the agriculture decline already mentioned in the overview. The manufacturing paragraph is logically ordered, but the retail and healthcare trends are compressed into one sentence, so their comparison is not developed. Use clearer links between the overview and details, and organise the body around contrasting trends—for example, manufacturing and agriculture in one paragraph, then retail and healthcare in another.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
You use relevant vocabulary such as “dramatic decline,” “significant growth,” and “downward trend,” which helps describe the broad movements. However, several choices are inaccurate or unnatural for a graph report: “job vacancies” suggests unfilled posts rather than the number of jobs, while “retail and healthcare region” and “agriculture area” are unsuitable labels for sectors. “Inclined graph” is also an imprecise way to describe an increase. These choices do not prevent the reader from understanding the main trends, but they limit precision and naturalness. Prefer standard terms such as “employment,” “sector,” “rose,” and “fell,” and use them consistently when reporting the data.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
You attempt a mixture of sentence forms, including a complex overview and sentences describing changes over time. The main trends remain understandable, but some grammatical errors and awkward constructions reduce clarity. For example, “The most number of jobs” has an incorrect superlative structure, and “in United States” needs an article. In “the retail and healthcare region end up being the highest,” the subject and verb do not agree, and the tense is unsuitable for describing a completed period. The phrase “starting from almost 6 million jobs … and going down” also leaves the sentence structure awkward. Practise accurate comparisons (“the highest number”), article use, subject–verb agreement, and consistent past-tense reporting.
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