Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The graph illustrates, where American people do their jobs between 1960 to 2020 in four different society of the economy.

Starting from 1960, 15 million people do manufacturing in US for the economy and the amount of people working in manufacturing get increased and goes upto 20 million which tells us that alot of people are interested in manufacturing but this ratio get decreased in between 2000 and 2020. 5 million people were interested in retail and agriculture between in 1960 but people start ignoring agriculture side and the agriculture side ratio went decreased day by day and still in 2020 only few people left on that side.

On the other hand, Only few people start doing healthcare jobs in 1960 but day after day their ratio were getting enhanced went upto around 16 million in 2020 same like retail jobs moreover, In 2020 around 13 million were doing manufacturing jobs for the economy.

As we can see in graph many people were interested in retail and in healthcare for the economy in "UNITED STATES OF AMERICA".

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You identify several relevant trends, including manufacturing rising to a peak before declining, agriculture falling, and healthcare increasing to about 16 million. However, the summary is only partial: it does not give a clear, concise overview of the main comparisons, and some key details are missing or inaccurate. For example, retail starts at 6 million, not 5 million, and rises steadily to 16 million; this important growth is not clearly traced. The claim that people were “interested” in particular sectors also interprets the figures rather than describing them. To strengthen the response, state the overall pattern—that manufacturing led initially, while retail and healthcare grew and agriculture declined—and support it with accurate comparisons across the years.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a basic sequence, moving from 1960 figures to later changes, and phrases such as “On the other hand” attempt to connect contrasting trends. However, the progression is not consistently clear: manufacturing, retail and agriculture are combined in one long paragraph, while the final sentence repeats a general point rather than adding a useful comparison. Some linking is awkward or inaccurate, as in “moreover” and “same like retail jobs,” and the paragraphing does not clearly separate the overview from the detailed trends. Organise the report into a brief overview followed by grouped comparisons—for example, declining agriculture versus growing retail and healthcare—and use linking expressions only where they show a clear relationship.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “manufacturing,” “retail,” “agriculture” and “healthcare,” so the reader can identify the sectors being discussed. However, the range is limited and several choices are imprecise or repetitive. Expressions such as “people are interested in manufacturing,” “ignoring agriculture side” and “their ratio were getting enhanced” do not describe employment figures naturally; “ratio” is also not the right term for a number of jobs. Repeated use of “people” and “jobs” further limits precision. Use neutral chart language and accurate collocations, such as “employment in manufacturing,” “the number of jobs fell,” and “healthcare employment increased.” This would make the report clearer and more appropriately formal.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts longer sentences to describe changes over time, but these are often faulty, and the range of sentence structures remains limited. For example, “the amount of people working in manufacturing get increased and goes upto 20 million” has problems with agreement and verb forms, while “their ratio were getting enhanced went upto around 16 million” lacks a clear grammatical structure. There are also errors in prepositions and sentence construction, as in “between in 1960.” These issues sometimes make relationships between ideas difficult to follow. Practise forming accurate past-tense comparisons, such as “Manufacturing employment rose to 20 million by 1980, then declined,” and check subject–verb agreement and sentence boundaries.

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