Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The graph shows number of jobs in four sector of the economy in the US spanning from 1960 to 2020.

In 1960, where the manufacturing jobs are at their highest, it is when the industries demands and offer more jobs On the other side the retail and agiculture sector was at the same level about 6 millions, where as the healthcare sector was at record low having less jobs than all other 3 sectors.

As in the 1980 the manufacturing sector records highest jobs about 20 millions, being its peak time. Two sectors agricultre and healthcare shows diversion after 1960, the retail shows increase in the job market while the agriculture shows decline in the jobs. On the other hand the helathcare sector show progression and shows a continuous and uniform increase in jobs.

In 2000, manufacturing sector shows a decline in jobs 1960 being its peak showing a turnaround in number hence, depreciating. The retail and health sectors in these four decades time period shows uniformity and shows a good progression overtime. On the other hand the agriculture shows no good progression remainin at the same position it was two decased before showing a constant behaviour and mainting the level.

In 2020, the manufacturing sector shows a steep decline falling lowe the 1960 level of 15 million, hence showing agressive depreciation over the past four decades. The retial and heathcare sector again shows progression and uniformly increase over time, the health sector showing a high progress reacing above 15 million. While teh agriculture from four decades maintain a constant poistion now shows a little decrease in the value by slightly devaiting from its previous position.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You identify the four sectors and describe several broad trends, including manufacturing’s rise to a peak in 1980 and subsequent decline, and agriculture’s overall fall. However, the response does not give a clear overview that brings together the main comparisons. Some descriptions are inaccurate or unclear: manufacturing was highest in 1980, not 1960, and retail and healthcare did not increase uniformly across the whole period—retail rose from 6 to 16 million, while healthcare rose from 2 to 16 million. The claim that manufacturing fell below its 1960 level is also incorrect: it ended at about 13 million, below 15 million, so this comparison is accurate, but the wording “aggressive depreciation” does not explain the scale clearly. Select key figures and state the overall ranking and contrasting trends more precisely; several points are currently under-developed or confusing.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response is divided into four chronological paragraphs, which gives the reader a clear route through the years, and time markers such as “In 1960” and “In 2020” help signal the sequence. However, the organisation is largely year-by-year rather than grouped around the most important trends, so comparisons between sectors are repeated or left unclear. Linking phrases such as “On the other hand” are used frequently, sometimes without a clear contrast, and the long sentences in the 2000 and 2020 paragraphs make relationships between ideas difficult to follow. For example, the sentence beginning “In 2000, manufacturing sector shows a decline” combines several points without clear boundaries. A concise overview followed by paragraphs comparing rising and falling sectors would create stronger progression.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt a range of vocabulary, including “peak,” “decline,” “progression,” and “constant behaviour,” and these choices show an effort to describe change. However, word choice and spelling errors are noticeable and sometimes make the meaning difficult to interpret. Phrases such as “industries demands and offer,” “aggressive depreciation,” and “shows diversion” are not natural ways to describe job figures; “depreciation” usually refers to a loss in value, not a fall in employment. There are also repeated misspellings, including “agriculture,” “healthcare,” “retail,” and “reaching.” Use precise trend language consistently, such as “rose,” “fell,” “remained stable,” and “reached,” and check spelling and collocations carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentence forms, but complex sentences are often faulty, and errors occur frequently enough to make some statements hard to understand. For example, “In 1960, where the manufacturing jobs are at their highest, it is when…” has an unclear clause structure and an incorrect present-tense form for past data. Subject–verb agreement is also inconsistent in “the retail and health sectors … shows,” while missing articles and plural forms appear in phrases such as “manufacturing sector” and “6 millions.” Punctuation is sometimes missing, particularly where one sentence runs into the next. Build accurate past-tense sentences first, then add subordinate clauses only when their relationship to the main idea is clear.

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