Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph illustrates the number of jobs in four different sectors of the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, manufacturing job had the highest number at the beginning, in addition health care and retail showed increasing rate of jobs. whereas, agriculture represent the lowest job rate during following years.

In 1960 manufacturing had the highest job rate at, 15 million which was consedreably increased in 1980 at, 20 million and fell gradually in the following year 17 million in 2000 and around 13 million in 2020. in 1960 both the retail and agriculture jobs represent the samilar rate of jobs roughly 6 million. However, retail rose significantly in 2020 made up of approximately 16 million, while the agriculture faced the decline over decade and reached around 1 million in 2020.

Healthcare sector had the lowest job rate at the beginning around 1 million, which was grown slightly 4 million in 1980 and figure showed the consedriably increasing during the following period around 11 million in 2000 and 17 million in 2020 respectively.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

You provide a clear overview of the main patterns: manufacturing starts highest and then declines, while healthcare and retail rise, and agriculture remains the smallest sector. The body supports this with figures for all four sectors and useful comparisons, including the shared starting point for retail and agriculture. Most reported values and trends match the graph. However, a few details are inaccurate: healthcare begins at about 2 million, not 1 million, and reaches about 5 million in 1980, rather than 4 million; agriculture ends at about 2 million, not 1 million. The overview could also be more precise by noting that retail and healthcare both finish at roughly 16 million, jointly the highest. Overall, the response selects and reports the key features effectively, with some imprecision in the data.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response is organised into an introduction, an overview and two body paragraphs, and the information generally progresses from the overall picture to sector-specific details. Linking words such as “Overall,” “However” and “while” help signal relationships, and grouping manufacturing with retail and agriculture before discussing healthcare is understandable. Some cohesion is less controlled: the overview’s “whereas” is awkwardly attached to the preceding sentence, and “in the following year” is unclear when describing the period after 1980. The final paragraph also repeats the pattern of describing increases without clearly connecting healthcare’s figures to the other sectors’ endpoint. More precise transitions and clearer references to time periods would make the progression smoother and more flexible.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of vocabulary for describing trends, including “rose significantly,” “fell gradually,” “decline” and “increasing.” These choices communicate the broad movements, and terms such as “approximately” and “roughly” help qualify estimates. However, several noticeable spelling and word-form errors reduce accuracy, including “consedreably,” “consedriably” and “samilar.” Some collocations are also unnatural: “job rate” is repeated where “number of jobs” or “employment” would be more precise, and “increasing rate of jobs” does not clearly describe a rising total. Aim for accurate, natural combinations and vary the vocabulary without forcing less familiar expressions. This would make the description clearer and more precise.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt a mixture of simple and complex sentences, including clauses with “which,” “while” and “whereas,” but control is uneven. Errors occur in agreement and sentence construction: “manufacturing job had” needs a plural noun or a different construction, while “agriculture represent” should be “agriculture represented.” Several sentences also omit necessary verbs or articles, as in “which was grown slightly 4 million,” and punctuation creates faulty joins, particularly in the overview and the sentence beginning “In 1960 manufacturing…”. Capitalisation after full stops is inconsistent. These problems sometimes make relationships between ideas harder to follow, although the intended trends are usually recoverable. Practise accurate past-tense reporting and build complex sentences around complete, clearly punctuated clauses.

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