Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The above graph describes the fluctuation in number of jobs for the period of 60 years starting from 1960 in four sectors: Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture and Healthcare. Manufacturing sector was the leading the chart, employing most number of people ie. 15 million whereas healthcare had the least, only around 2.5 million people in 1960. Both retail and agriculture had the same number of people involved at the beginning.

As the time pases by towards the beginning of the century, every sector except agriculture saw increment in number of jobs. Manufacturing still leads the chart upto 2000, however declining from its peak at 1980 where around 20 million people were involved. Retail and healthcare saw steady growth but Agriculture first dipped to less than 5 million jobs and then became consistent.

Towards the end, retail and healthcare soared to 1st position in providing most number of jobs while agriculture got to the bottom and manifacturing in the middle with around 13 million people employed in it.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the four sectors and describe the broad patterns: manufacturing peaks before declining, retail and healthcare rise, and agriculture falls. The opening comparisons are also relevant, including manufacturing’s lead in 1960 and the equal starting figures for retail and agriculture. However, some key details are incomplete or imprecise. In particular, the overview does not clearly state that by 2020 retail and healthcare were joint leaders at about 16 million; “soared to 1st position” is less precise. The claim that manufacturing “still leads the chart upto 2000” overlooks that retail had risen to about 15 million by then, close to manufacturing at 17 million. Develop the comparisons across the four dates more accurately, especially the changing ranking of the sectors.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction and starting-point comparison, a paragraph describing changes through 2000, and a final paragraph about 2020. This gives the reader a generally logical progression, and phrases such as “As the time passes by” and “Towards the end” help signal movement through the period. To make the organisation more effective, provide a distinct overview of the main trends before the detailed comparisons, rather than blending the overview into the chronological account. Some linking is also a little mechanical, and references such as “the chart” and “the beginning of the century” could be more specific. Grouping related trends—for example, the two rising sectors—would make comparisons easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use a reasonable range of task-related vocabulary, including “peak,” “declining,” “steady growth,” and “consistent,” which helps communicate the main trends. Some less common choices are attempted, but several are inaccurate or unnatural in this context: “fluctuation” suggests repeated variation, while “soared to 1st position” is an awkward way to describe the final ranking. “Increment in number of jobs” and “most number of people” are also imprecise collocations. There are spelling errors in “pases” and “manifacturing,” and informal shorthand such as “ie.” is unsuitable for an academic report. Aim for precise terms such as “increased,” “employment,” and “jointly had the highest figures,” and check spelling and formality.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and more complex sentence forms, including the contrast in “every sector except agriculture” and the clause beginning “where around 20 million people were involved.” The main trends remain understandable, but some grammatical errors recur. For example, “Manufacturing sector was the leading the chart” has an unnecessary article or verb form, and “As the time pases by” has an incorrect tense construction. In “Manufacturing still leads the chart upto 2000, however declining,” the participle does not connect smoothly to the main clause, and the sentence needs clearer punctuation around “however.” Check articles, verb forms, and sentence boundaries, while retaining the useful variety of structures you already attempt.

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