Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The data shows about the number of jobs in manufacturing, retail, agriculture and health sectors sectors of the economy in the US in the the year between 1960 to 2020.

In general,if we see in the year 1960, there were jobs in manufacturing sectors in all over US economy. The jobs were in manufacturing were 15 millions and it grows more in year 1980 to 20 millions. Manufacturing sector were highest job in these two years . Moreover, we see that healthcare sector in the year 1960 , it was 5.5 million approximently. And after that we see in healthcare sector, it is decreased in 1980 to 2020. Overall, if we compare manufacturing and healthcare sector both significant difference in job sectors.

The rest two sectors, that are retail sector in 1960 was 5.5 millions approximently and after that year, the figure increased, each year passed by to 2020. Agriculture sector in the year 1960 it also rapidly increased each year to 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

The response identifies the four sectors and attempts to describe changes over time, but its account of the main features is substantially inaccurate, which limits how fully it addresses the task. In particular, healthcare is said to start at about 5.5 million and then decrease, whereas it rises from about 2 million to 16 million. Agriculture is described as increasing, although it declines overall from about 6 million to 2 million. The response correctly notes manufacturing’s rise to a peak in 1980 and retail’s general increase, but it does not give a reliable overview of the contrasting trends or the later ranking, when retail and healthcare are joint leaders. Check each series against the graph before selecting and reporting key features.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is some organisation: the response has an opening, a paragraph beginning “In general,” and a final paragraph about retail and agriculture. It also groups manufacturing and healthcare before discussing the other sectors. However, the progression is difficult to follow because the overview does not clearly summarise the chart, and several comparisons are incomplete or unclear, such as “both significant difference in job sectors.” Linking phrases such as “Moreover,” “And after that,” and “Overall” are used, but they do not consistently show the relationship between the data. Improve cohesion by giving a concise overview first, then grouping sectors with similar trends and using clear comparisons between their figures.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The response uses a basic range of relevant terms, including “sector,” “figure,” “increased,” and “decreased,” so the topic is generally recognisable. However, vocabulary is repetitive and some word choices or collocations are inaccurate, making parts of the report awkward: “jobs in manufacturing sectors in all over US economy” and “highest job” do not express the intended meaning naturally. “Rapidly increased” is also an unsuitable description of agriculture’s trend. Spelling errors such as “approximently” further reduce control. Build a more precise set of trend expressions and use them accurately—for example, describe a figure as rising, falling, peaking, or remaining stable, and refer to the number of jobs in a sector.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts both simple and longer sentence forms, but control is inconsistent, and errors sometimes make relationships between ideas hard to understand. Examples include “the year between 1960 to 2020,” “the jobs were in manufacturing were 15 millions,” and “the figure increased, each year passed by to 2020.” There are also problems with articles, agreement, plurals, and sentence boundaries, as in “Manufacturing sector were highest job.” Repeated punctuation and spacing issues, such as “In general,if,” add to the difficulty. Practise constructing clear subject–verb sentences and checking tense and agreement; for example, “Manufacturing employment rose from 15 million in 1960 to 20 million in 1980.”

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