Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The following graph shows the economical results of four types jobs in US between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, manufacturing job has the highest economy which considerabely changed. Retails jobs experienced a sharply increase in their economy, followed by economy of health care jobs also went up with great speed. However, economy of agriculture jobs declined after 1960.

In 1960, the economy of manufacturing jobs was at 15 million, which went up in 1980 and then went down in 2000. And reached nearly at 12 million in 2020. Meanwhile, the economy of retail and health care sectors dramatically increased in recent years. Retail economy was 5.1 million which increased significantly reaching approximately 15.1 million in 2020. It was a rapid increase in its economy. Whereas, the health care sector also experienced a simillar upward trend. It was roughly 3 million with a substantial growth it also went up to 15.1 million in 2020.

When it comes to agriculture, its contribution to economy stood at 5.1 million in 1960, before declining to 3 million in 1980. It experienced a significant decrease in 2000, followed by a further decline in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You identify the broad patterns: manufacturing rises to a peak before falling, retail and healthcare grow, and agriculture declines. The overview is relevant, and you support it with several figures, including manufacturing at 15 million in 1960 and healthcare at about 3 million initially. However, some details are inaccurate or unclear: manufacturing reaches 20 million in 1980, but this peak is not stated, and it falls to about 13 million—not 12—in 2020. Retail and healthcare both finish at about 16 million, rather than 15.1. The claim that agriculture declined significantly in 2000 is not supported, as it remains around 3 million from 1980 to 2000. More precise comparisons and coverage of the key turning points would make the report more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure, moving from an introduction and overview to details about manufacturing, retail, healthcare, and agriculture. Paragraphing helps the reader follow the main groups of information, and transitions such as “Meanwhile,” “Whereas,” and “When it comes to agriculture” signal shifts. However, some linking is mechanical or repetitive: “economy” and “increased” recur frequently, and “It was a rapid increase in its economy” repeats the preceding point rather than adding information. The relationship between the overview and the later details could also be clearer, particularly when the overview says manufacturing had the highest level without specifying that it was highest only until retail and healthcare caught up by 2020. More concise linking and clearer comparisons would strengthen progression.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant trend vocabulary, including “declined,” “substantial growth,” and “upward trend,” so the main message is generally understandable. However, the range is limited by repeated and imprecise use of “economy” to mean employment or job numbers, as in “manufacturing job has the highest economy” and “Retail economy.” Several collocations and word forms are inaccurate, including “a sharply increase,” “four types jobs,” and “simillar.” These choices make parts of the report sound unnatural and occasionally obscure the intended meaning. Aim for precise chart language such as “number of jobs,” “employment,” “rose,” and “fell,” and check spelling and common adjective–noun combinations. This would make your descriptions more accurate and fluent.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mixture of simple and more complex sentences, including clauses with “which” and time relationships introduced by “before.” Most of the trends remain understandable, but some sentence structures are incomplete or awkward. For example, “And reached nearly at 12 million in 2020” is a fragment, while “with a substantial growth it also went up” joins ideas without a clear grammatical connection. There are also errors in agreement and articles, as in “manufacturing job has” and “a sharply increase.” Use complete sentences and check that subjects agree with their verbs; for instance, “Manufacturing employment rose to 20 million in 1980 before falling to 13 million by 2020.” Greater control of these patterns would improve accuracy while retaining sentence variety.

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