Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph compares the number of jobs in four disciplines of US from year 1960 to 2020.

Overall, the proportion of jobs increased in two sectors although the rate of growth varied. Health care sector experienced the most significant raise and had the highest figure by 2020.The most drastic decrease was seen in agriculture sector.

In 1960s the number of jobs in manufacturing sector was about 15 million, compared with approximately 6 million jobs in Retail and agriculture sector and about 3 million jobs in the health care sector. Over the next twenty years the figure for manufacturing sector arose steadily to 20 million jobs. While the number of jobs in Retail sector and health care increased gradually to ten million and five million. Meanwhile , the jobs in agriculture sector show decrease.

Between 2000 and 2020 the number of jobs in the Retail and Health care climb to 15 million jobs. Meanwhile, the number of the jobs in manufacturing sector and agriculture sector decline gradually.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You identify the main overall movements: healthcare rises substantially, agriculture declines, and manufacturing falls after reaching a peak. The opening comparison also gives useful starting figures, and the response covers the full period. This meets the task well, with some features already selected and compared effectively. However, the overview says only that two sectors increased, without identifying retail’s steady rise or noting that retail and healthcare finish at roughly the same level. There are also important inaccuracies or omissions: healthcare starts at about 2 million, not 3 million; agriculture falls to about 3 million by 1980 and remains there in 2000; and the final figures for retail and healthcare are both about 16 million, rather than 15 million. More precise coverage of these stages would make the summary more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, an overview, and two paragraphs describing the data over time. Time markers such as “Over the next twenty years” and “Between 2000 and 2020” help the reader follow the sequence, while “Meanwhile” signals contrasts. However, the progression is not always fully clear because the 1980–2000 period is largely omitted, and the final paragraph groups trends without giving the 2020 outcomes. Some linking is mechanical or awkward, particularly the repeated use of “Meanwhile,” and the sentence beginning “While the number of jobs…” is a fragment. Organising the body around the main trends, while covering each interval consistently, would strengthen cohesion and make comparisons easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for describing trends, including “increased,” “decrease,” “climb,” “decline,” and “highest figure.” These choices make the general direction of change understandable, and terms such as “manufacturing sector” and “agriculture sector” are relevant to the task. However, some word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural: “disciplines of US” is not an appropriate description of economic sectors, “raise” should be a noun such as “rise,” and “arose steadily” does not naturally describe a figure increasing. “Proportion of jobs” is also imprecise because the graph reports numbers, not proportions. Aim for accurate trend language and consistent sector terminology; this would make the account more precise without requiring unnecessarily complex vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentences, including a comparison with “compared with” and a contrast introduced by “although.” Most of the meaning remains clear, but some grammatical errors occur. For example, “While the number of jobs in Retail sector and health care increased…” is a dependent clause without a main clause, and “the number of jobs … climb” needs a past-tense verb. Articles are also missing in phrases such as “in manufacturing sector” and “in Retail sector,” while “in 1960s” needs an article or a different time expression. Punctuation and spacing need attention in “2020.The” and “Meanwhile ,”. More consistent control of sentence boundaries, articles, and past-tense forms would improve accuracy while preserving the range you attempt.

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