Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The graph highlights the number of jobs in four sectors of economy in us between 1960 and 2020.

In this line graph shows different type of jobs.we can see there are four category of jobs manufacturing,retail,agriculture and health care.

First of all in year 1960 the manufactruing is too high as compared to other jobs 15 millions jobs in us in this year.

On second number the retail and agriculture in this year is same it is round about 6 millions.At the last one is health care in 1960 is just 2 millions.

In 1980 the manifacturing is more higher than last year it is 20 millions which is big number.Reatil jobs is 10 millions and the health care is 5 millions at last agriculture is 3 million jobs only.

In second last year manifacturing jobs was decresed in this year 17 millions and on second number its was retail is 15 millions.

In last year 2020 unecpected the retail and health care is top of table and aggriculture is near 13 millions at the last we can see healthcare jobs it is just 2 millions

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You identify all four sectors and report several relevant figures, including manufacturing at 15 million in 1960 and 20 million in 1980, and retail at 15 million in 2000. However, the response gives no clear overview of the main trends, and some key information is misreported or unclear. In 2020, agriculture is about 2 million, not “near 13 millions”; healthcare is about 16 million, not 2 million. The final comparison also misses that retail and healthcare are jointly highest. The account is mainly a sequence of year-by-year details rather than a clear summary of the most important changes. To improve, add an overview of the contrasting trends and check each figure against the graph.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response follows a broadly chronological order, moving from 1960 through 1980 and 2000 to 2020, so the reader can recognise the intended sequence. However, the organisation is not consistently clear: there is no distinct overview, and the paragraphing does not separate the main trends from supporting details. Linking phrases such as “First of all,” “In 1980,” and “In last year” are repetitive or awkward, while “second last year” makes the reference to 2000 less precise. Some sentences combine several sectors without clear relationships, particularly the final sentence. Grouping the rising sectors together and the declining sector separately, with clear comparisons, would create stronger progression and cohesion.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use basic vocabulary relevant to the chart, including “jobs,” “higher,” “decreased,” and “same,” and the sector names make the topic identifiable. However, the range is limited and several choices or spelling errors make the report less precise, such as “too high,” “big number,” “top of table,” and “unexpected.” Sector names are repeatedly misspelled (“manufactruing,” “manifacturing,” “aggriculture”), and “health care” is not used consistently. Some phrases also sound unnatural, for example “on second number” and “at the last.” Aim for accurate chart language such as “rose to,” “fell to,” “remained stable,” and “jointly recorded the highest figure,” while checking spelling and collocation.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

Most sentences rely on simple statements, and attempts to form longer sentences are often inaccurate. For example, “In this line graph shows different type of jobs” lacks a clear subject, while “the manufacturing is more higher than last year” has faulty comparison structure. Tense and agreement are also inconsistent in “manufacturing jobs was decreased” and “its was retail.” Articles, plurals, and punctuation are frequently omitted or misused, as in “in year 1960” and the run-together sentence beginning “In second last year.” These errors sometimes make relationships between figures difficult to follow. Practise accurate simple comparisons first, then combine them with controlled clauses using “while” or “whereas,” and proofread sentence boundaries.

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