Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The chart illustrates the number of jobs in four different categories in the US Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture and Healthcare between the years 1960 and 2020.

Overall, Retail and Healthcare have an increase in the number of jobs over the years. In contrast with Manufacturing and Agriculture where the data shows a decline in the job count between 1960 and 2020.

For Retail with initially 10millions jobs in 1980 rises to 15 millions in 1980 and stabilize at almost 16 millions in 2020. Also, for healthcare started at lower than 5 millions in 1960 shows an increase in 1980 that reaches 5 millions and almost 11 millions in 2000 to achieve its peak in 2020 by 16 millions which makes it the sector with the most number of jobs.

In contrast for Manufacturing that shows an increase at first from 15 millions in 1960 to 20 millions in 1980 but then drops to less than 15 millions in 2020. However, Agriculture already starts low by almost 6 millions then shows a decrease to reach almost 4 millions in 1980 and 2000 and falls for almost 3 milions in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the main overall contrast: retail and healthcare rise, while manufacturing and agriculture decline over the full period. You also report several key figures and describe manufacturing’s peak in 1980 and subsequent fall. However, the retail account contains a significant data error: it says the sector begins at 10 million in 1980, when it was about 6 million in 1960, and then says it rises to 15 million in 1980, rather than 2000. Agriculture’s later values are also overstated: it is around 3 million in both 1980 and 2000, then 2 million in 2020. The overview would be clearer if it noted that healthcare and retail both reach about 16 million by 2020, while manufacturing remains the largest sector until 2000.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, an overview, and separate paragraphs comparing the rising sectors with the declining ones. This makes the main trends easy to follow, and transitions such as “In contrast” help signal comparisons. The organisation is generally effective, though some links and references are awkward or repetitive. For example, “For Retail with initially…” and “Also, for healthcare…” do not form smooth sentence openings, while “In contrast for Manufacturing” is less natural than a direct comparison. The overview’s second sentence also repeats the contrast without a fully clear grammatical connection. To strengthen progression further, group the figures chronologically or compare the sectors’ final positions more explicitly.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant task vocabulary, including “increase,” “decline,” “stabilize,” “peak,” and “job count,” so the reader can understand the main trends. There is some variety in how changes are described, but word choice and collocation are often imprecise, which limits clarity. Phrases such as “the most number of jobs,” “starts low,” and “falls for almost 3 milions” are not natural ways to describe the data. “Stabilize” is also not quite accurate for retail, which continues to rise slightly after 2000. Spelling and number formatting are inconsistent, as in “milions” and “10millions.” Aim for precise expressions such as “the highest employment level,” “stood at,” and “fell to,” and check spelling and spacing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, and the overall meaning is usually recoverable. However, some sentence structures and verb forms are inaccurate. For example, “For Retail with initially 10millions jobs in 1980 rises…” lacks a clear subject and has an incomplete construction; “healthcare started… shows an increase” shifts tense inconsistently; and “In contrast with Manufacturing and Agriculture where…” is a sentence fragment. There are also errors in articles, plurals, and agreement, such as “the most number of jobs” and “15 millions.” Use a consistent past tense for the historical data, make each sentence’s subject explicit, and check that dependent clauses are attached to a complete main clause. These changes would make your comparisons more controlled.

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