Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line chart campares the number of jobs in United States from 1960 to 2020 in four different sectors (Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture and Healthcare).

Overall the biggest change occure in the Healthcare. From start till the end, we can see a dramatic increase in the healthcare jobs as it surgues from half a million in 1960 to almost around 15 million in 2020. In addition to it the retail jobs also perform very well and grew significantly from 1960 to 2000, with almost 15 million job in 2000 from around 0.6 million, although later after 2000 to 2020 we can see a slight improvement more on a steady side.

By contrast if we look at the manufacturing job market over the years, it currently not performing well. Initially from 1960 to 1980 the manufacturing jobs climbed from 15 million to 20 million, but later after 1980 to 2020 the job collapsed to around 13 to 14 million, while the agriculture jobs in 1960 went down from 5 million to around 3 million till 1980, and after that it is leveled off at around 2 million.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the four sectors and report several important trends, including manufacturing’s rise to a peak in 1980 followed by decline, and agriculture’s overall fall. The overview also correctly highlights strong growth in healthcare and retail. However, some figures are substantially misread: healthcare starts at about 2 million jobs, not half a million, and retail starts at about 6 million, not 0.6 million. Retail reaches roughly 15 million in 2000 and 16 million in 2020, so describing its later change as only slight is broadly reasonable. The response covers the main features, but the inaccurate starting values and limited direct comparison between the sectors make some reporting unclear. Check each figure against the chart and state the key end-point comparisons explicitly.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, an overview, and a paragraph contrasting manufacturing with agriculture. The sequence from earlier to later years is generally easy to follow, and linking phrases such as “Overall,” “By contrast,” and “while” help connect the trends. Some connections are less controlled, however. The long final sentence combines two sectors and several time periods, making the comparison harder to track. “In addition to it” is also an awkward link, and the overview paragraph moves from healthcare to retail without clearly distinguishing the main trends. Use shorter sentences for separate sectors and organise the details into clearer comparisons, such as rising sectors versus declining sectors.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a reasonable range of trend vocabulary, including “dramatic increase,” “grew significantly,” “climbed,” “collapsed,” and “leveled off.” These choices communicate the broad direction of change, although some are imprecise or too informal for an academic chart summary: “perform very well” and “job market” describe evaluation rather than the number of jobs. There are also spelling errors, including “campares,” “occure,” and “surgues,” which reduce accuracy. Some phrases are redundant, such as “almost around,” and “slight improvement more on a steady side” is unclear. Aim for precise, neutral expressions such as “rose steadily” or “declined to approximately,” and proofread spelling and collocations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex structures, including time clauses and contrasts with “although,” “while,” and “from…to…”. The overall meaning is usually understandable, but some grammatical errors affect clarity. For example, “the manufacturing jobs climbed” is followed by “the job collapsed,” creating an inconsistent number, while “the agriculture jobs in 1960 went down” uses an unclear subject and tense pattern. “From start till the end” also lacks an article and is not a well-formed time expression. The final sentence is overloaded, with several clauses joined together and punctuation that does not clearly separate the ideas. Use complete, shorter sentences and check articles, agreement, and consistent past-tense reporting.

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