Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

the line graph illustrates the data of jobs in four economical professions of around 40 years in the US in between 1960 and 2020.

Retail and healthcare sectors has shown a constant growth all these yeras while manufacturing and agriculture has seen a decrease in jobs numbers in between 1980 and 2020.

Retail and agriculture sectors had around 6 million jobs each in the year 1960, as the passage of time there was a constanct growth in retail for almost 40 years which reaches to around 15 million jobs in 2000, on the other hand the agriculture job market had been decreasing and reached a very low level as compared to others roughly half million jobs in 2020 .

Manufacturing jobs started around 15 million jobs in 1960 and has seen an increase of 5 millions from in the first 20 years from 1960 to 1980 and reached a maximium of 20 million jobbs but lately it had shown a decrease of aorund 3 million from 20 to around 17 million in year 2000, and the decreas is continuining till 2020. what seems interesting in the graph is the healthcare sector which was at its lowest value of around 2.5 million in 1960 but it had shown an increas of amost 5 million jobs each 20 year difference. In 2020, health care and retail jobs have equal figure of around 16 million jobs.

in conclusion, healthcare and retail have shown a constant increase in number of jobs while manufacturing and agriculture both had decrease in jobs during the years.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You identify the main contrasting trends and provide a clear overview: retail and healthcare rise, while agriculture declines, and manufacturing falls after its peak. Several key figures are also reported accurately, including manufacturing’s rise from 15 to 20 million and the equal 16-million totals for retail and healthcare in 2020. This covers the task well, with some detail beyond a basic summary. However, the overview says manufacturing and agriculture both decreased “during the years,” which overlooks manufacturing’s substantial rise to 1980. There are also factual inaccuracies: agriculture is about 2 million in 2020, not half a million, and healthcare rises by roughly 3 million from 2000 to 2020, rather than almost 5 million in each 20-year period. More precise coverage of these stages would strengthen the response.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction and overview are followed by details about retail and agriculture, then manufacturing and healthcare, and a concluding summary. Comparisons such as “on the other hand” help signal contrasts, and the reader can generally follow the trends. However, some linking is mechanical or awkward, and several sentences carry too many stages of information at once. For example, the manufacturing sentence moves from its starting point through its peak and later decline without clear sentence breaks. The overview and conclusion also repeat much the same trend summary, while the final conclusion oversimplifies manufacturing’s pattern. Use shorter, clearly grouped sentences and organise details by meaningful comparisons or periods to make progression smoother.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for describing charts, including “constant growth,” “reached a maximum,” “decrease,” and “equal figure.” This gives you enough range to communicate the main trends, but word choice and collocation are often imprecise, and spelling errors are noticeable. Phrases such as “economical professions,” “the agriculture job market,” and “jobs numbers” are not natural ways to describe the sectors or data. There are also misspellings such as “constanct,” “maximium,” and “continuining,” which reduce accuracy. Aim for standard chart language and check spelling carefully; for example, use “economic sectors,” “number of jobs,” and “peaked at” where appropriate. This would make your descriptions more precise and fluent.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mixture of simple and complex sentences, including clauses linked with “while,” “as,” and “which,” and the overall meaning is usually clear. However, some errors in agreement, tense, articles, and sentence boundaries remain. For example, “Retail and healthcare sectors has shown” should use a plural verb, while “as the passage of time there was” lacks a suitable grammatical construction. The long manufacturing sentence joins several independent ideas with commas, making its structure difficult to control. Tense choices also shift between “started,” “has seen,” and “had shown” without a consistent pattern. Practise forming concise past-tense comparisons and separating complete ideas into sentences; this will improve accuracy while preserving your attempts at complex structures.

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