Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-07
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.5)
The line graph provides data about the total number of jobs in four different domains of the economy in the United States from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, the graph illustrates jobs in four major economic sectors: manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare. The job market for manufacturing and agriculture dropped over the given period. While the total number of jobs increased significantly for healthcare and retail at the end of the period.
In 1960 there were almost 15 million jobs in the sector of manufacturing which raised upto 20 million in 1990 and dropped afterwards. The opportunities in retail and agriculture started over 5 million in 1960. Both sectors faced opposite trends over time with jobs in retail reaching upto 15 million in 2020 whereas agricultural jobs declining to approximately 2 million.
Healthcare sector is showing a major upward trend with only about 2 million job opportunities in 1960 and increasing significantly to over 15 million in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 7.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0
You provide a clear overview of the main contrast: manufacturing and agriculture decline overall, while retail and healthcare grow. The key starting and ending figures are mostly accurate, including manufacturing at about 15 million in 1960 and healthcare rising from about 2 million to over 15 million. However, some details are imprecise: manufacturing peaks in 1980, not 1990, at around 20 million, and retail reaches about 16 million in 2020 rather than 15 million. The overview also says retail and healthcare increase “at the end,” although their growth occurs across the period. To strengthen the report, identify the changing rankings—for example, manufacturing leads initially, while retail and healthcare finish joint highest—and describe the main stages more precisely.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5
The response is organised into an introduction, an overview and two detail paragraphs, giving it a coherent overall arrangement. The final paragraph’s focus on healthcare is easy to follow, and phrases such as “Overall” and “While” help signal relationships between ideas. However, the overview repeats the sector list already given in the introduction, and the detail paragraphs do not consistently group or compare the series: retail and agriculture are discussed together, but their figures and changes are not developed in a balanced way. The sentence beginning “While the total number…” is also a fragment, which interrupts the flow. For stronger progression, use the overview for the principal contrasts, then organise details by comparable trends and connect each figure clearly to its trend.
Lexical Resource: Band 6.0
You use a suitable range of topic vocabulary, including “economic sectors,” “declining,” “upward trend” and “approximately,” and the meaning remains clear. There are also attempts to vary wording through “jobs,” “opportunities” and “job market.” However, some choices are imprecise or unnatural for describing chart data: “the sector of manufacturing” is less direct than “manufacturing,” and “jobs … started over 5 million” does not clearly express the initial figures. “Raised upto” and “reaching upto” are also awkward collocations, while “total number of jobs increased” could suggest an overall total rather than the figures for individual sectors. Aim for precise trend language such as “rose to,” “stood at” and “fell to,” and use “employment” or “number of jobs” consistently.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0
You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including the contrast in “Both sectors faced opposite trends…” and the relative clause in “which raised…”. Most of the message is understandable, but some grammatical errors remain. “While the total number of jobs increased…” is a dependent clause presented as a complete sentence; join it to the preceding sentence or recast it. The past-tense reporting also shifts to present in “Healthcare sector is showing,” and “which raised” has an unclear subject and should describe the number of jobs rising. There are also issues with articles and sentence construction, as in “in the sector of manufacturing.” Use consistent past tense for the historical data and check that each sentence has a complete main clause and a clear subject.
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