Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The given graph shows the information about the number of jobs in all four sectors of the economy in the United States of America over a sixty-year period between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, what stands out from the graph is that there were considerable upward trend in the number of jobs in Retail and Healthcare, while the vacancies in Agriculture and Manufacturing saw a considerable fall over the period in question. Another interesting point is that in 1960 the most number of vacancies were in Manufacturing sector, but in 2020, both Retail and Healthcare gained more number of available posts.

Looking at the details, as regard of Manufacturing sector in 1960 it gained highest available positions, even vacancies rose for around next 3 decades. Another major factor

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You identify the main contrast between the rising job numbers in retail and healthcare and the decline in agriculture, and you note that manufacturing was largest in 1960 while retail and healthcare were joint leaders in 2020. However, the account is only partial: the response stops during the manufacturing discussion and gives no figures or developed comparisons for most sectors. The claim that manufacturing saw a considerable fall over the whole period is also imprecise, since it first rose from about 15 million to 20 million before declining to 13 million. The response contains 127 words, below the required 150, which contributes to the limited coverage. Complete the report with the key figures and the contrasting stages of each trend.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, an overview, and the beginning of a detail paragraph. Phrases such as “Overall” and “Looking at the details” help signal these stages. However, progression is incomplete because the final paragraph ends abruptly at “Another major factor,” leaving the reader without the promised account of the other sectors. The overview also groups trends without then organising the supporting details by sector or comparing their values. Use a complete paragraph structure, with one paragraph for the overview and a logically ordered detail paragraph covering all four lines. Linking expressions should connect actual comparisons rather than introduce points that are not developed.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use a suitable range of task-related vocabulary, including “upward trend,” “considerable fall,” “period in question,” and “available posts,” and the meaning is generally clear. There are, however, some awkward or imprecise collocations, such as “the most number of vacancies” and “gained more number of available posts.” “Vacancies” and “posts” are also less precise than “jobs” when describing the graph’s measure. The phrase “considerable fall” does not accurately capture manufacturing’s initial rise followed by a decline. Aim for natural, precise reporting language, for example “the highest number of jobs,” “employment increased,” and “then fell.” This would make the vocabulary more controlled and better suited to describing data.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You attempt a mix of sentence forms, including a complex overview sentence with “while” and a time clause beginning “between 1960 and 2020.” Most of the meaning remains understandable, but some grammatical errors are noticeable. For example, “there were considerable upward trend” needs an article or plural agreement, and “as regard of Manufacturing sector” has an incorrect grammatical construction. The sentence beginning “Looking at the details” also lacks clear punctuation and structure, while “even vacancies rose” does not form a clear relationship between its clauses. Practise accurate articles, agreement, and clause construction, and punctuate longer sentences carefully. Completing each sentence before moving to the next point will also help maintain control.

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