Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph illustrates the size of jobs in four fields of US economoy from 1960 to 2020.

overall manufacturing and agricultural departments have faced the decreased in number of jobs where as retail and health care fields have seen the growth upward.

In 1960 both manufacturing and agricultural started with complete different numbers with one standing at 15 million and other slightly higher than 5 million respectively. Manufacturing in 1980 had 20 million jobs which was the highest among all, however since in980 it had seen the decline that continued in until 2020. On the other hand agricultural had jobs between 5-10 miliion but in 1980 number was even lower that reached to around 3 million, it remained steady until 2000 and then saw slight decline in 2020.

Retail and health sectors both had similar trajectory, both in 2020 came close to 15 million jobs. Retail secrorstarted with slightly above 5 million jobs and helath sectore with even lower than 5 miliion.With that said both retail and health have seen the increase where as manfacturing and agricultural have seen the decline reference to their starting point

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the main contrast accurately: manufacturing and agriculture decline overall, while retail and healthcare rise. You also report several useful figures, including manufacturing’s peak of 20 million in 1980 and agriculture’s fall to about 3 million by that year. However, some comparisons are incomplete or imprecise. The overview does not mention that manufacturing was the largest sector initially, or that retail and healthcare both reached about 16 million by 2020 and became the joint leaders. The statement that retail and healthcare followed a “similar trajectory” overlooks their different starting points and rates of growth. Develop the overview with these key rankings and clarify the main changes across the period.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, an overview, and separate paragraphs for the declining and rising sectors. This makes the main comparisons reasonably easy to follow. Linking expressions such as “On the other hand” and “With that said” help signal contrasts, although the latter is awkwardly placed and the final sentence largely repeats the overview. Some references are also unclear: “one” and “other” in the second paragraph require the reader to infer which sector is meant, and “since in980” interrupts the sequence. Improve cohesion by naming sectors rather than relying on vague pronouns, and organise each paragraph around a clear chronological comparison.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use relevant vocabulary for describing trends, including “decline,” “remained steady,” and “increase,” so the main information is generally understandable. However, the range and control are limited by repeated or imprecise expressions such as “seen the growth upward,” “similar trajectory,” and “complete different numbers.” Several spelling errors—“economoy,” “miliion,” “secrorstarted,” and “helath”—also make the writing less polished and occasionally slow the reader. Choose more precise collocations for chart descriptions and check spelling carefully. For example, describe figures as “the number of jobs” and use verbs such as “rose,” “fell,” or “levelled off” to report changes directly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt a mixture of simple and more complex sentences, including contrast clauses with “however” and “whereas.” The meaning is usually recoverable, but some grammatical errors affect clarity. For example, “manufacturing and agricultural departments have faced the decreased” has an incorrect article and noun form, while “it remained steady until 2000 and then saw slight decline” needs an article before “slight decline.” The sentence beginning “In 1960 both…” also has an unclear construction, and punctuation around “however” is not consistently controlled. Use past-tense forms consistently for the historical data, check articles and sentence boundaries, and simplify constructions when they become difficult to control.

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