Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The given line graph illustrates how many jobs in four different categories of the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, the manufacturing rates showed a significant rise over the year, though after a periods its decreased steadily.Retail and healthcare were increased gradually all the years and agriculture is given a downward trend all the years.

Initrially, the manufacturing sector increased 15 millions to 20 millions from [redacted phone].From 1980, it decreased marginally around 13% which gave a lower trend.On the other hand, the sector of agriculture decresed steadily all the year round. In 1969, it was about 6% which decreased at 3% in 1980 and from this period to 2020, it slowly is given a lowerward trend.

Regarding retail and healthcare, they both significantly increased the time and in the end they both turning into a same point.In 1960, the rate of retail was about 6% same as agriculture where the healthcare was about 2%. In 1980, retail increased at 10% and healthcare turned into 5%.From 1980 to 2020 they increased in a same spreed and they both remained approximately 16% respectively.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the main overall patterns: manufacturing rises to a peak and then declines, agriculture falls, and retail and healthcare grow. You also include several relevant figures, such as manufacturing reaching 20 million in 1980 and healthcare starting at about 2 million. However, some details are inaccurate or unclear: manufacturing falls to about 13 million by 2020, not “13%,” and agriculture is about 6 million in 1960, not 1969. The overview also says retail and healthcare increased throughout, but does not clearly note that healthcare catches up with retail at around 16 million in 2020. The response covers the task, though some comparisons and trends are less fully or precisely reported.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, an overview, and two paragraphs grouping manufacturing with agriculture and retail with healthcare. This makes the main comparisons reasonably easy to follow. Linking phrases such as “Overall,” “On the other hand,” and “Regarding” help signal shifts between ideas. However, some connections are mechanical or unclear, particularly “after a periods its decreased steadily” and “they both increased the time.” The final comparison says the sectors “remained approximately 16% respectively,” without clearly distinguishing their shared endpoint from their different earlier paths. More precise links between each time period and its figures would make the progression smoother and references clearer.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for describing trends, including “increased,” “decreased,” “downward trend,” and “marginally.” However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, which sometimes makes the meaning difficult to interpret. For example, “manufacturing rates” is less suitable than “manufacturing employment,” and “a lowerward trend” is not a natural expression. “In the same spreed” appears to mean that the sectors grew at a similar rate, but the chart does not show identical growth. There are also spelling errors such as “Initrially” and “decresed.” Aim to use a smaller set of accurate, natural trend phrases and check spelling carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including a contrast with “though” and a comparison introduced by “On the other hand.” However, errors in verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence construction are frequent enough to make some statements hard to follow. For instance, “Retail and healthcare were increased gradually” should use an active form, while “after a periods its decreased” has problems with both the noun phrase and the verb. The sentence beginning “In 1960, the rate of retail…” also lacks a clear grammatical connection between the retail and healthcare figures. Work on consistent past-tense reporting, subject–verb agreement, and complete sentence structures; these changes would make your comparisons much clearer.

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