Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

the line graph illustrates the number of employments in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020

overall, it can be seen that healthcare sector has great improvements and demand over the period of 40 years .and only manufacturing jobs has slightly decreased for the 40 years.

it is noticable that healthcare sector has massive changes from 1960 to 2020.first of all healthsector jobd has slightly increased from 1960 to 1980 which incresed 2.5M to 5M .after that period it has tremendous upward and became more demandable.where it has go up 5M to 15M.retails jobs are much familiar with healthcare sector.both has approximately same trend over the period of 40.then manufacturing and agriculture has similar downwards trend .but manufacturing has light incline from 1960 to 1980

finally we can say that from the graph manufacturing and agriculture has steady decline over the year in contrast retail and healthcare has upward trend from the begining.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the broad contrast between rising healthcare employment and falling agriculture employment, and you note manufacturing’s early rise followed by decline. However, several details are inaccurate or unclear: healthcare rises from about 2 million in 1960 to 5 million in 1980, then to 11 million in 2000 and 16 million in 2020—not 15 million. Retail also increases throughout, from 6 million to 16 million, rather than being described clearly as following healthcare’s trend. Your overview says manufacturing and agriculture both steadily decline, overlooking manufacturing’s peak in 1980, and says retail and healthcare rise “from the beginning” without a precise comparison. The response is also five words below the 150-word minimum. Include the key turning points and final rankings more accurately.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable opening, overview and sequence of details, and phrases such as “overall,” “after that period” and “finally” help signal movement through the report. However, the progression is not consistently clear: the paragraph moves between healthcare, retail, manufacturing and agriculture without a well-organised comparison, and the final summary repeats earlier claims rather than bringing the main patterns together. Some links are difficult to follow, particularly “retails jobs are much familiar with healthcare sector” and “both has approximately same trend.” Use separate paragraphs for the overview and grouped comparisons, and connect series by shared patterns or contrasting trends. Clearer referencing and fewer abrupt transitions would make the organisation easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant task vocabulary, including “sector,” “upward,” “downwards trend” and “decline,” so the reader can generally identify the patterns you intend to describe. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, such as “number of employments,” “great improvements and demand,” “more demandable” and “much familiar.” Spelling errors, including “noticable,” “incresed” and “begining,” also reduce precision. Choose standard terms for chart descriptions, such as “number of jobs,” “rose,” “reached” and “similar pattern.” Check spelling and use “employment” as an uncountable noun; these changes would make your comparisons more natural and precise.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple statements and longer sentences, including a contrast introduced by “in contrast,” but control is uneven and complex sentences are often incomplete or incorrectly formed. For example, “after that period it has tremendous upward and became more demandable” lacks a clear grammatical structure, while “both has approximately same trend” has subject–verb agreement and article problems. There are also inconsistent verb forms and punctuation issues, such as the full stop and conjunction in “period of 40 years .and.” Use complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, maintain past tense for the historical data, and check agreement and articles. More accurate sentence construction would make the intended trends easier to understand.

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