Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph illustrates the jobs in millions in four different sectors of US economy (manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare) from 1960- 2020.

Overall it can be seen clearly that, manufacturing employees accounted of highest between 1960 and 1980 followed by decline till the end whereas retail and healthcare department showed extensive growth and reached at the top.

In 1960, manufacturing employees gain highest number of jobs at 15 millions reached at peak with 20 millions in 1980, leads to decline of 5 millions in 2000 but still remain highest from other three, afterwards fall continued till 2020 at approximately12.5 millions. Agriculture puts its share of more than 6 millions in 1960 showing overall decline throughout the period.

Retail employment increases steadily over the period with 6 millions in 1960 leads to peak of 15 millions in 2000 followed by little rose of 126 millions at the end of period.Healthcare department had least employees at the start in 1960 at around 3 millions have showed tremendous rise by crossing manufacturing at around 16 millions in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the main overall pattern: manufacturing rises to a peak and then declines, while retail and healthcare grow, and agriculture falls. You also include several relevant figures, such as manufacturing at 15 million in 1960 and 20 million in 1980. However, some details are inaccurate or unclear: agriculture starts at about 6 million, not “more than 6,” and retail reaches about 16 million in 2020, not “126 millions.” The overview’s claim that manufacturing was highest between 1960 and 1980 is imprecise, since it is highest in 1960 and 1980 but retail and healthcare catch up by 2020. The main features are covered, but clearer comparisons and more precise reporting would strengthen the summary.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear basic structure: an introduction, an overview, and two paragraphs describing the sectors. This makes the information reasonably easy to follow, and phrases such as “whereas” and “followed by” help signal contrasts and sequence. However, the progression within the detail paragraphs is sometimes awkward. For example, the manufacturing sentence combines several time points in a long chain, while the retail sentence ends abruptly at “end of period.Healthcare,” with no space or clear transition. Some references, such as “reached at the top,” are also unclear about which sectors are being compared. Grouping the trends more consistently and using clearer links between sentences would make the organisation smoother.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a reasonable range of topic vocabulary, including “decline,” “steadily,” “peak,” and “tremendous rise,” so the main trends can generally be understood. There are also attempts at more formal phrasing, such as “accounted” and “throughout the period.” However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural: “accounted of highest,” “puts its share,” and “little rose” do not express the intended meanings clearly. “126 millions” is a serious numerical expression error, and “department” is not the most suitable label for these sectors. Aim for precise, conventional chart language, such as “stood at,” “increased to,” and “declined to,” and check number expressions carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including clauses linked with “whereas” and “followed by,” and the overall meaning is usually recoverable. However, some grammatical errors recur. For example, “manufacturing employees gain highest number” uses an incorrect verb form and lacks an article, while “have showed” does not use the correct past participle. The phrase “reached at peak” also has an incorrect grammatical pattern, and the long manufacturing sentence has unclear clause connections. Punctuation and spacing need attention in “period.Healthcare.” Use past-tense verbs consistently for the historical data, check articles and agreement, and divide long sentences where the relationships between figures become difficult to follow.

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