Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph illustrates the number of jobs in four different areas of the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, the jobs in the healthcare and retail sector show the upward trend, whereas the downward trend was showed in manufacturing and agriculture sector in the end of the time period.

In the beginning, in the sector of retailing there were almost 6 million jobs. After that, the number of jobs in retailing sector increased gradually and reached at 15 million jobs in 2000. From 2000 to 2020, the count of vaccancy in this sector stood at nearly 16 million jobs. However, the healthcare sector experienced a significant increase from approximately 2 million jobs to above 10 millions in 2000. Afterwards, the figure reached to nearly16 millions jobs.

In the case of agriculture, in 1960 almost 6 millions jobs allocated for this sector, it was decreased steadily over the given time period. With regards to manufacturing sector, it allocated 15 millions jobs in 1960, after rose to 20 millions in 1980 the figure fell dramatically and stood at nearly 13 millions jobs.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

The response gives a clear overview of the main contrast: retail and healthcare rise, while agriculture declines, and it includes relevant figures for all four sectors. The reported values are generally accurate, including manufacturing’s peak of 20 million in 1980 and its fall to about 13 million by 2020. This meets the task well, with some features more fully covered than others. However, the overview says manufacturing declined “in the end,” which misses its earlier rise and peak; a more precise summary would note that it rose before falling. Agriculture’s decline is described but not quantified at the later points, and the retail trend from 2000 to 2020 is only briefly reported. A sharper overview and fuller comparison of the final figures would add the remaining detail.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response is arranged in a sensible sequence: an introduction and overview are followed by details about retail and healthcare, then agriculture and manufacturing. This makes the main information easy to locate, and linking expressions such as “Overall,” “After that,” and “However” help signal relationships. The progression is coherent overall, though some connections feel mechanical or unclear. For example, “In the case of agriculture” and “With regards to manufacturing sector” introduce the final paragraph without directly comparing the two trends. The sentence beginning “From 2000 to 2020” also has an unclear reference to “the count” and could more directly state that retail employment rose slightly. Grouping the two rising sectors together and the declining or fluctuating sectors together, with clearer comparisons, would strengthen the flow.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

There is an adequate range of vocabulary for describing trends, including “increased gradually,” “significant increase,” “decreased steadily,” and “fell dramatically.” These choices communicate the broad movements, and the writer attempts more specific terms such as “figure” and “approximately.” Some word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, however. “Count of vaccancy” is not an appropriate way to describe jobs, and “reached at” and “reached to” are not natural combinations. “In the beginning” and “in the end of the time period” are also less precise than standard chart-reporting phrases. Check spelling and word forms, particularly “vacancy,” and prefer concise expressions such as “the number of jobs” or “employment.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The response uses both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a contrast in the overview and time-linked clauses such as “After that” and “From 2000 to 2020.” Most meanings remain clear, but some grammatical errors recur. In “the downward trend was showed,” the passive form is incorrect; use “was shown” or, more naturally, “the sectors showed a downward trend.” The sentence “in 1960 almost 6 millions jobs allocated for this sector, it was decreased” contains a missing verb and a comma splice. There are also errors in articles, plurals, and prepositions, as in “the retailing sector” and “reached at 15 million.” More accurate clause construction and consistent singular/plural forms would improve control while retaining the range of structures attempted.

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