Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The rendered line graph illustrates the information about the count of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, the jobs of retail and health care sectors consists the upward trend, whereas jobs of manufacturing and agriculture sectors shows the downward trend.

In the begining, the manufacturing sector had the maximum jobs 15 millions in 1960, it consists upward trend after 2 decade to 20 millions, whereas agriculture sector was 5 millions jobs, after 2 decade it consists downward trend to nearly 3 millions. While, in 2020 both categories shows downward trend nearly 13 millions manufacturing jobs and approximately 2 millions agriculture sector jobs, respectively.

In case of retail sector, in 1960 nearly 6 millions jobs , after 40 years it increased and shows the upward trend 15 millions jobs. The health care sector had nearly 6 millions jobs same with first categorie, after four decade it shows upward trend nearly 11 millions and the both categories reached at the peak point with upward trend approximately 16 millions.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You cover all four sectors and identify the main contrast: retail and healthcare rise, while manufacturing and agriculture decline overall. You also include several relevant figures, such as manufacturing reaching 20 million in 1980 and falling to about 13 million by 2020. However, some details are inaccurate or unclear: agriculture is about 6 million in 1960, not 5 million, and manufacturing does not decline throughout the period because it first rises. The overview also says both rising sectors show an upward trend, but does not clearly note that healthcare and retail finish at roughly the same level, or that manufacturing is initially the largest sector. More precise comparisons and clearer descriptions of each series would strengthen the report.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure, moving from an overview to details about manufacturing and agriculture, then retail and healthcare. This gives the reader a coherent overall arrangement, and time markers such as “in 1960” and “after 40 years” help locate the data. However, some linking is mechanical or confusing. “Whereas” and “while” are repeatedly used to join long comparisons, and “both categories” is unclear when several sectors are being discussed. The final sentence also combines the two rising sectors without clearly distinguishing their different starting points and trajectories. Use separate, logically grouped comparisons and clearer references—for example, “these two sectors”—to make progression easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for describing trends, including “upward trend,” “downward trend,” “increased,” and “reached at the peak point.” This is enough to communicate the broad movements, but the range is repetitive and several expressions are unnatural or imprecise. “The count of jobs” and “the jobs of … sectors” are less suitable than standard chart language such as “the number of jobs” or “employment in.” “Consists the upward trend” is not an appropriate collocation, while “both categories” is vague. There are also spelling errors, including “begining” and “categorie.” Aim for accurate, varied terms such as “rose,” “declined,” “peaked,” and “stood at,” and check spelling carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including comparisons joined with “whereas” and “while,” and the overall meaning is generally understandable. However, some errors in sentence structure and agreement make parts difficult to read. For example, “the jobs … consists” has a subject–verb agreement problem, and “both categories shows” repeats this issue. Several sentences are joined with commas where a full stop or clearer clause structure is needed, as in “In the begining, the manufacturing sector had … in 1960, it consists…”. Articles, plurals and prepositions are also inconsistent in phrases such as “the maximum jobs 15 millions.” Build shorter, complete sentences first, then add complex comparisons while checking agreement and punctuation.

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