Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The graph illustrates the information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, the higher contribution in 1960 that was manufacturing sector and lower contribution in 1960 that was healthcare sector as well as there was few intersected position in this graph.

To begin with, in 1960, the higher contribution was in manufacturing sector and there was 15 millions jobs. The smaller contribution was of in 1960 that was healthcare sector there jobs was below 5 millions. Secondly, in manufacturing sector from 1960 to 1980 this sector was grown graudlly but after 1980 this sector rapidly fall down.

Moreover, in 2020, the large contribution was of retail sector and there was above 15 millions jobs. The smaller contribution was of in 2020 that was agriculture sector that was nearby 0 jobs by millions. Further more, retail and healthcare sector there was meeted in 2020 above 15 millions jobs.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify the chart’s subject and mention relevant features, including manufacturing as the largest sector in 1960 and agriculture as the smallest in 2020. However, the overview is unclear and does not summarise the main changes: manufacturing peaked in 1980 and then declined, while retail and healthcare rose, with both reaching about 16 million jobs by 2020. Some details are inaccurate or too vague: healthcare had about 2 million jobs in 1960, not simply “below 5,” and agriculture was about 2 million in 2020, not near zero. The claim that retail was the largest in 2020 overlooks healthcare’s equal figure. The response is 140 words, below the 150-word minimum; 19 copied prompt words were excluded from the count. Develop a clearer overview and report the key comparisons accurately.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a basic paragraph structure: an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. Sequencing phrases such as “To begin with,” “Moreover,” and “in 2020” help signal movement through the chart. However, progression is limited because the first body paragraph focuses on 1960 and manufacturing, while important changes in retail and healthcare across the period are not organised into a clear comparison. Several linking phrases are repetitive or awkward, and references such as “this sector” and “there was meeted” make relationships between ideas difficult to follow. Group the sectors by trend—for example, declining versus rising—and use clear comparisons to create a more coherent account.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some task-relevant vocabulary, including “sectors,” “manufacturing,” “retail,” and “agriculture,” so the topic is generally identifiable. However, the range is limited and several phrases are repeated, especially “contribution” and “smaller contribution.” Some word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “higher contribution,” “rapidly fall down,” and “nearby 0 jobs by millions”; these make the description less precise. There are also spelling errors, including “graudlly,” and the phrase “few intersected position” does not clearly describe the chart. Build a more accurate set of trend terms, such as “rose,” “declined,” “peaked,” and “remained stable,” and use “number of jobs” rather than “contribution” when reporting the figures.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentence forms, and the response is divided into paragraphs. However, the range is limited, and errors occur frequently in basic sentence construction, verb forms, agreement, articles, and plurals. For example, “the higher contribution in 1960 that was manufacturing sector” lacks a clear grammatical structure, while “there jobs was below 5 millions” has problems with word order and subject–verb agreement. “This sector was grown” uses an incorrect verb form, and “retail and healthcare sector there was meeted” is not a well-formed sentence. These errors sometimes make the intended meaning difficult to understand. Practise accurate comparative sentences and past-tense reporting, such as “Manufacturing rose to 20 million in 1980 before declining.”

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.