Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-08
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
THE LINE GRAPH SHOWS THE NUMBERS OF JOBS IN FOUR SECTORS IN THE US FROM 1960 TO 2020. THE SECTORS ARE MANUFACTURING, RETAIL, AGRICULTURE AND HEALTHCARE.
OVERALL, HEALTHCARE AND RETAIL JOBS INCREASED OVER THE 60 YEAR PERIOD. IN CONTRAST, MANUFACTURING AND AGRICULTURE WENT TO DOWN.
FIRSTLY, IN 1960 MANUFACTURING HAD THE HIGHEST NUMBER OF JOBS WHICH IS 15 MILLION. THIS NUMBER ROSE TO 20 MILLION IN 1980, BUT THE DROPPED BY 12 MILLION IN 2020. AGRICULTURE STARTED AT ABOVE THE 6 MILLION JOBS IN 1960 AND DECREASED CONTINUOSLY , REACHING THE LOWEST POINT OF THE AROUND 1 MILLION IN 2020.
ON THE OTHER HAND, HEALTHCARE STARTED LOWEST NUMBER OF JOBS WHICH IS 2 MILLION ANS HOWEVER ITS GROW CONSISTENCY THROUGHOUT AND RECH HIGHEST POSITION IN 2020 AROND 15 MILLON. THE LAST FACTOR IS RETAIL JOBS ALSO GREW STARTING AROUND 3 MILLION IN 1960 AND INCREASING TO AROUND 14 MILLION IN 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0
You identify all four sectors and give a clear overall contrast: healthcare and retail rise, while manufacturing and agriculture decline. You also report several key starting points and broad trends, including manufacturing’s peak in 1980 and healthcare’s strong growth. However, some figures and descriptions are inaccurate: manufacturing falls from 20 million to about 13 million, not “by 12 million”; agriculture is about 6 million initially and 2 million in 2020, rather than above 6 and around 1. Retail begins at about 6 million, not 3. The overview could also highlight that retail and healthcare both reach roughly 16 million by 2020. More precise reporting and clearer comparisons would make the main features better supported.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5
The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, an overview, and two detail paragraphs. The contrast signalled by “In contrast” and “On the other hand” helps readers follow the broad trends, and the information is generally presented in a sensible order. This is a coherent overall arrangement. However, some linking is mechanical or awkward, particularly “Firstly” and “The last factor,” and the second detail paragraph combines healthcare and retail without clearly comparing their trajectories. The sentence about manufacturing also makes the change difficult to follow. To strengthen progression, group the two declining sectors together and the two rising sectors together, then use clear comparisons and references to connect the figures.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
You use relevant task vocabulary such as “sectors,” “increased,” “decreased,” and “highest,” so the reader can understand the general trends. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, including “went to down,” “grew consistency,” and “reaching the lowest point of the around 1 million.” Spelling errors such as “continuosly,” “ans,” “rech,” and “arond” are also noticeable and reduce precision. Use a wider set of accurate trend expressions, such as “declined steadily,” “rose gradually,” and “peaked at,” while checking spelling and natural combinations. This would make the description more precise and fluent without requiring overly complex vocabulary.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
You attempt both simple and complex forms, including the contrastive sentence “This number rose to 20 million in 1980, but…” and clauses describing changes over time. The main trends remain understandable, but some grammatical errors affect clarity. For example, “the dropped by 12 million” has an incorrect verb construction, while “healthcare started lowest number of jobs” is missing an article and a suitable preposition. “Its grow consistency” also has an incorrect word form and sentence structure. There are some problems with articles, verb forms, and punctuation, including unnecessary spaces before commas. Practise accurate comparative and trend sentences, such as “Healthcare started at the lowest level, at 2 million jobs, and rose steadily.”
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