Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The line graph gives information about the number of jobs in four secoter of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020. there are manufacturing, reatil, agriculture and healthcare jobs.

In 1960,Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US. highly level of sectors was manufacturing in the 1969 is 15 starting. retail and agriculture both jobs are equally job sectors economy in the intially years is 6. however, lower job sector of the economy in this years is healthcare on 2 and after the time of 1960 gradually increasing the jobs but argiculture job economy downwards grow.

on 2000, two job sectors healthcare and ratail rapidly increase the job but another two jobs manuifacturing and agriculture are gradully decrease in the economy sector. while in this 40 years higly grow jobs sectors is healthcare and reatil. however, drecrease the job sectore economy is manufacturing as well agriculture because the people can entering in the modern technology time.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify all four sectors and report some relevant patterns, including manufacturing being highest initially and healthcare and retail rising over time. However, the account is incomplete and sometimes inaccurate: the 2020 figures and the fact that retail and healthcare both finish at about 16 million are omitted, and the claim that manufacturing and agriculture both decline “on 2000” does not capture retail’s continued rise or healthcare’s strong growth. The explanation that people entered “modern technology” is not shown by the graph and should be left out. The response is also 18 words below the 150-word minimum; the 31 words copied from the task prompt were not counted. Add a clear overview and select accurate comparisons across the full period.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is a basic attempt to organise the response chronologically: you begin with 1960, then move to 2000 and describe changes over time. Connectors such as “however” and “while” show an effort to link contrasting information. Nevertheless, the progression is difficult to follow because the opening paragraph combines several ideas in unclear sentences, and the second paragraph jumps between years and trends without a clear sequence. Some links are also confusing, as in “however, lower job sector … in this years is healthcare on 2.” Use separate paragraphs for an overview and the main comparisons, and group related trends together. Clearer references to the years and sectors would make the relationships easier to understand.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some task-relevant vocabulary, including “gradually increasing,” “rapidly increase,” and “decrease,” to describe movement in the figures. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations make the meaning difficult to interpret, such as “highly level of sectors,” “equally job sectors,” and “downwards grow.” Spelling errors are also frequent, including “secoter,” “reatil,” “argiculture,” and “manuifacturing.” These issues strain the reader, which is consistent with the current level of control. Build a reliable set of terms for describing trends and comparisons, and check spelling carefully. Prefer precise phrases such as “the number of jobs rose” or “employment fell” over improvised expressions.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts to form longer sentences and use contrast, for example, “while in this 40 years…” and “however…,” but control is weak and the range of accurate structures is very limited. Errors in sentence construction, tense, articles, and punctuation frequently obscure the intended meaning. For instance, “In 1960,Number of jobs…” lacks a clear grammatical subject and spacing, while “retail and agriculture both jobs are equally job sectors” has an unclear structure. The sentence about the sectors decreasing “because the people can entering” also has faulty verb forms. Practise writing short, complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, then combine them using accurate clauses and punctuation.

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