Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The given line graph iluustrates the information about the number of work opportunities in four sectors of the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020. The given data is given in the millon.

To commence with, the manufacturing was begans with 15 in the 1960 and moved upto by 5 in two decades then it surprisly decreased by 12 millions from 1980 to 2020. Retail was started from 5 millon and it gets increased till 2020 by 16 million. In 60 years retail got more workers.

The job in healthcare is more so many got oppurunity in the healthcare so it gets rapidly increased by 12 million in 2020 from 2 million in strating year. The agriculture has started from 5 million in the begaging year and then rapidly gets decreased by 3 million in 1980. Then it remained similar only by 2-3 million from 1980 to 2020.

Overall, the healthcare higher opportunities of job and it gets rapidly incresed. The agriculture gets extreme downfall.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify the four sectors and report several broad trends, including manufacturing’s rise to 1980 followed by decline, healthcare’s strong growth, and agriculture’s overall fall. However, some figures and comparisons are inaccurate: manufacturing falls by about 7 million from 1980 to 2020, not 12 million; healthcare rises by about 14 million, not 12; and retail begins at about 6 million, rather than 5. The overview also says healthcare had the highest number of jobs, but by 2020 healthcare and retail are level at around 16 million. Agriculture’s decline is described, though calling it an “extreme downfall” overstates the change. More accurate key figures and a clearer overview of the final ranking would make the summary more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, paragraphs describing sector trends, and a concluding overview. This gives the reader a coherent overall arrangement, and phrases such as “then” and “from 1980 to 2020” help show sequence. However, progression is sometimes weakened by unclear or awkward links, as in “then it surprisingly decreased by 12 millions,” where the period and comparison are not expressed cleanly. The healthcare and agriculture details are grouped together without a clear organising principle, and the final overview repeats points already made rather than synthesising the main comparisons. Use one paragraph for the overview and organise details by contrasting rising and falling sectors, with precise time references.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use relevant task vocabulary such as “line graph,” “increased,” “decreased,” and “remained similar,” so the main trends can generally be understood. However, the range is limited and several choices are inaccurate or unnatural for describing employment data. “Work opportunities” and “got more workers” do not precisely describe the number of jobs, while “the healthcare higher opportunities of job” is difficult to interpret. There are also noticeable spelling errors, including “iluustrates,” “millon,” “oppurunity,” and “incresed.” Choose standard collocations such as “employment in healthcare” and “the number of jobs,” and check spelling carefully. More precise trend language would help distinguish a rise, a peak, and a subsequent decline.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentence forms, and the reader can usually follow the intended trends. However, control of sentence structure and verb forms is inconsistent, particularly in longer clauses. For example, “the manufacturing was begans with 15” combines an incorrect passive construction with an incorrect verb form, while “it gets increased till 2020 by 16 million” has an awkward tense and unclear structure. Articles and number forms are also unreliable in phrases such as “in the 1960” and “12 millions.” Try using straightforward past-tense patterns consistently: “Manufacturing stood at 15 million in 1960, rose to 20 million in 1980, and then declined.” This would improve accuracy while still allowing you to vary sentence structures.

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