Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In this graph i saw numbers of jobs in four sectors of the the economy in the US, [redacted phone]. In 1960 the rate of healthcare is less to 0 but in 1980 this rate is slowely to 5. In 2000 this rate is increasing to 10 and in 2020 his rate is climed to 15. In 1960 the value of agriculture is grow up 5 but in 1980 his rate is drown to 5. In 2000 his rate slowely and in 2020 his rate is more decease. In 1960 the rate of retail is upto 5 but in 1980 his rate is slowely to 10. In 2000 his rate is slowely 15 but in 2020 his rate is grown to 15. In 1960 the value of manufacturing is slowely to 15 but in 1980 his rate is 20. In 2000 his value is drown to 20 but in 2020 his rate is drown to 15. The manufacturing rate is higher all of them and the agriculture rate is lower than all of them.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify all four sectors and attempt to describe changes across the period, so the response is relevant to the graph. However, several figures and comparisons are inaccurate: healthcare starts at about 2 million, not below zero, and reaches about 16 million; agriculture falls from about 6 to 2 million rather than starting at 5 and remaining unchanged in 2000. Retail ends at about 16 million, while manufacturing falls to about 13 million by 2020. The claim that manufacturing is higher than all sectors throughout is also incorrect, since retail and healthcare are level with it at the end. A clear overview of the main trends and accurate key comparisons are missing, leaving the task only minimally addressed.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has a basic sequence, moving through healthcare, agriculture, retail and manufacturing, and uses time markers such as “In 1960,” “In 1980” and “In 2000.” This gives the reader some sense of the period being described. However, the information is presented as one long block, without a distinct overview or clear grouping of related trends. Repeated sentence openings and the repeated “but” pattern make the progression mechanical, while phrases such as “In 2000 his rate slowely” do not clearly explain what happened. Organise the report into an overview and focused detail paragraphs, and use clearer links to show contrasts and changes over time.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

Your vocabulary includes relevant basic terms such as “rate,” “value,” “increasing” and “decrease,” and you try to describe movement in the lines. However, the range is repetitive and several word choices or forms make the meaning difficult to follow. For example, “his rate is drown” appears to mean that the figure fell, while “grow up” and “climed” are not appropriate descriptions of graph trends. “Slowely” is repeated and does not accurately describe a steady rise in every context. Use a small set of precise trend verbs and nouns—such as “rose,” “declined,” “remained stable” and “employment”—and check spelling and collocations. This would make the basic information easier to understand.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt to report several time points and use simple contrastive clauses, for example, “In 1960 … but in 1980 …”. However, the grammatical range is very limited, and frequent errors sometimes obscure the intended meaning. Examples include “the rate of healthcare is less to 0,” “in 1980 his rate is drown to 5,” and “the manufacturing rate is higher all of them.” These show problems with sentence construction, verb forms, articles and comparison patterns. The repeated use of “his” for sectors also makes references unclear. Practise accurate simple past-tense sentences first, then combine them with controlled clauses using “while” or “whereas”; check each sentence for a clear subject, verb and comparison.

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