Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The illustration shows the comparative information related to the job market in different sectors of the economy of US during the span of 60 years from 1960 to 2020. The name of the four sectors are as follow: Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture and Healthcare.

Firstly, in 1960 the job market of the manufacturing sector was quite at a boom providing almost 15 million jobs, while on the other hand Retail and Agriculture had a tie by each sector providing around 6 million jobs. On contrary to this Healthcare was only able to provide around 3 million jobs. Afterwards, during 1980 there is a rise in the job market for Manufacturing touching 20 million mark, as well as for the Retail sector it rose to 10 million line. However, Healthcare sector rose and provided around 5 million jobs, perhaps it's initial start Agriculture started going down and remained constant at 2.5 million uptill 2020.

Nevertheless, the Manufacturing sector fell down gradually to around 16 million in 2000 era, then to 13 million jobs to 2020. But Retail saw a very good rise by going above 15 million from 2000 to 2020. Same as the case of the Healthcare jobs they increases gradually from 11 million in 2000 to above 15 million in 2020.

Finally looking at the description of the job trends, I can conclude that the retail sector performed better by graduall increase in jobs along with healthcare. There fall of agriculture jobs is quite disppointed.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You cover all four sectors and identify the main broad patterns: manufacturing peaks in 1980 before declining, while retail and healthcare rise, and agriculture falls. Several figures are also reported accurately, including manufacturing at about 15 million in 1960 and 13 million in 2020. However, some details are inaccurate or unclear: healthcare starts at about 2 million, not 3 million; agriculture is around 3 million in both 1980 and 2000, then about 2 million in 2020, rather than remaining at 2.5 million throughout. The overview is also expressed as a personal conclusion and does not clearly compare the endpoint, when retail and healthcare are both around 16 million. A more precise overview and careful checking of key figures would strengthen coverage.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall sequence, moving from the starting figures through 1980 and later years, and paragraph breaks help separate the stages. Linking expressions such as “Firstly,” “However,” and “Nevertheless” make the progression easy to follow. This is a coherent arrangement, though some connections feel mechanical or do not accurately signal the relationship between ideas. For example, “On contrary to this” introduces healthcare, but the comparison is not clearly explained, while “Same as the case” is an awkward transition into the healthcare trend. The final paragraph repeats the broad upward trends rather than drawing together the most important comparisons. Use fewer formulaic transitions and group related trends more deliberately, such as the two rising sectors and the two declining or fluctuating sectors.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a reasonable range of vocabulary for describing trends, including “rise,” “fell down gradually,” “remained constant,” and “gradually increase.” Some attempts at more descriptive language, such as “touching 20 million mark,” show an effort to vary expression. However, several choices are unnatural or imprecise for an academic graph report: “job market … was quite at a boom,” “performed better,” and “fall of agriculture jobs is quite disappointed.” There are also spelling and word-form errors, including “disppointed” and “graduall,” and “name … are as follow” is not idiomatic. Prefer precise, neutral collocations such as “employment in manufacturing peaked” and “agricultural employment declined.” This would make the description more fluent and appropriately formal.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentences, including clauses with “while,” “as well as,” and “although”-type contrast. The main trends are generally understandable, but some grammatical errors recur. For example, “The name of the four sectors are as follow” has problems with agreement and form, and “the Healthcare jobs they increases” has an unnecessary pronoun and incorrect subject–verb agreement. Tense control is also uneven: “during 1980 there is a rise” shifts into the present while describing past data. Some long sentences, particularly the sentence beginning “However, Healthcare sector rose,” combine several ideas without clear grammatical boundaries. Keep the report consistently in the past tense and check agreement, articles, and sentence boundaries when joining comparisons.

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