Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.0)

The graph below it provides information about number of jobs in four sectors of the economy of us in 1960 t0 2020

As we have four sectors in us economy we write about jobs from 1960 to 2020 .In 1960 the health care is not important there are less diseases and people are more energatic.In 1960 the Agriculture ratio is very good the farmers are very happy because their are many advantages .In 1960 the manufacturing ratio are at 15 percent and the retail sysytem are at 5 percent according to9 1980 there are some changes according to the 1960 there are minor diease and the agricultur rstio are at 5 percent the manufacturing ratio becames high because their are some new things and in 2000 there are some big changes people have different types of dieases people are not in good health. The agriculture ratio becomes low the manufacturing are at 18 percent the retail system at high ratio.In 2020 people got too much illness and different problems and the agriculture ratio got been down the reatil system at high point .The manufacturing are at down we didn't have more things.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

The response refers to all four sectors and several years, so it shows some awareness of the chart’s subject. However, it does not provide a clear, accurate summary of the main trends or an overview. Several figures are misreported: manufacturing is given as 18 in 2000 rather than about 17, and agriculture is described as 5 in 1980 rather than about 3. Retail is said to be about 5 in 1960, while the chart shows about 6. Important comparisons are also missing, including healthcare’s rise from about 2 to 16 and its becoming level with retail by 2020. Explanations about illness, disease and farmers’ happiness are not supported by the graph. Focus on describing visible data and the overall changes.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 3.5

The response follows a rough chronological order, moving from 1960 through 2020, and uses time markers such as “In 1960,” “in 2000” and “In 2020.” This gives the reader a basic sense of sequence. However, ideas are not arranged into clear paragraphs or grouped by meaningful trends, and the repeated “there are some changes” phrasing does little to show how the figures relate. Several sentences combine data with unsupported explanations, making the progression difficult to follow. References such as “the manufacturing are at down” are unclear. Organise the response into an introduction, an overview, and paragraphs comparing the main rising and falling sectors; use linking phrases to clarify contrasts and changes over time.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.0

The response uses a small set of relevant chart terms, including “ratio,” “high,” “low,” “manufacturing” and “agriculture,” and attempts to describe change with phrases such as “becomes low” and “got been down.” However, vocabulary is basic and repetitive, and several choices are inaccurate or unnatural for describing employment data. “Ratio” is not the right term for the number of jobs, while “retail system” and “manufacturing ratio” are imprecise. Spelling errors such as “dieases,” “energat ic” and “reatil” also reduce clarity. Build a more precise range of trend language and check spelling; terms such as “number of jobs,” “rose,” “declined” and “remained stable” would suit this task.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

There are attempts to form longer sentences and connect ideas, for example, “according to the 1960 there are minor diease and the agricultur rstio are at 5 percent.” Most sentences, however, have problems with sentence structure, tense, agreement, articles or punctuation, and these sometimes make the meaning hard to follow. Examples include “the manufacturing ratio are at 15 percent,” “the manufacturing are at down,” and the run-on sequence beginning “In 2000 there are some big changes.” The response also shifts inconsistently between present and past forms when describing historical data. Use past-tense verbs consistently, make the subject and verb agree, and separate each main comparison into a complete sentence. A few accurate simple sentences would improve clarity before adding more complex structures.

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