Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

This graph provide the information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the United State between the year 1960 and 2020.

Overall, manufacturing was the largest employer in1960 but declined after 1980, while retail and healthcare showed a continuous upward trend. In contrast, agriculture was the smallest and saw a significant drop.

In 1960, manufacturing accounted 15 million jobs and peaked at about 20 million in 1980.It marginally decreased to around 17 million and 13 million by the years 2000 and 2020. Agriculture started at around 6 million in 1960 and drop sharply around 2 million in 2020.

Retail and healthcare both increased. Retail began at 6 million in 1960, rising steadily to 10 million in 1980. Then it gradually increased to 16 million in 2020. Healthcare sector considerably go up from 2 million in 1960 to 15 million in 2000. At the last year, in 2020 it rised to 16 million.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You identify the main patterns and provide a clear overview: manufacturing reaches its high point in 1980 before falling, while retail and healthcare rise and agriculture declines. Most figures are accurately reported, including manufacturing’s 15-to-20-to-13 million pattern and agriculture’s fall from 6 to 2 million. However, healthcare is said to rise to 15 million by 2000, whereas the chart shows about 11 million; it reaches about 16 million in 2020. The overview also calls agriculture’s drop “significant” without noting that it levels off at around 3 million between 1980 and 2000. The response is 143 words, seven short of the 150-word minimum. Add a little more accurate comparison and detail to complete the task fully.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a coherent overall arrangement: an introduction, a concise overview, and two detail paragraphs that group manufacturing with agriculture and retail with healthcare. This makes the main trends easy to follow. Linking phrases such as “Overall,” “In contrast,” and “Then” help signal relationships, though some transitions are basic and the sequence within the final paragraph could be clearer. For example, healthcare’s 2000 figure is followed by “At the last year,” which is understandable but awkwardly connected. Improve progression by comparing the sectors at key dates—for instance, noting that retail and healthcare both reach about 16 million in 2020—and use clearer references and transitions. This would make cohesion more flexible and less reliant on simple sequencing.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of task-relevant vocabulary, including “accounted,” “peaked,” “marginally decreased,” “rising steadily,” and “significant drop.” These choices communicate the trends, and the meaning remains clear. Some word forms and collocations are inaccurate or imprecise, however: “the number of jobs” is more naturally described as jobs “in” each sector, “continuous upward trend” is less precise than “steady increase,” and “considerably go up” is informal and grammatically awkward. “Drop sharply” also overstates agriculture’s overall decline, which is gradual across the period. Aim for precise trend language and consistent formal phrasing, such as “rose steadily,” “fell to,” and “remained stable.” This would strengthen control of vocabulary and collocation.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex forms, including the overview’s contrast between manufacturing and the other sectors and the sentence beginning “In contrast.” Most sentences are understandable, but some grammatical errors remain. Examples include “This graph provide” (subject–verb agreement), “manufacturing accounted 15 million jobs” (missing “for”), “agriculture … drop sharply” (incorrect past-tense form), and “healthcare sector … go up” / “it rised” (incorrect verb forms). There are also punctuation and spacing problems, such as “in1960” and the missing space after “1980.” Use consistent past tense for the historical data, check agreement and required prepositions, and proofread sentence boundaries. More accurate control of these forms would make the varied structures more reliable.

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