Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph illustrate the job openings in the US economy in manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture and Healthcare between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, retail and healthcare sectors has shown a significant increase over the period. while, job opening in manufacturing and Agriculture has decreased.

In 1960, retail sector have the job openeing around 6 million and reached 10 million in 1980 and grew sharpely and reached 15 million in 2000. then in final year it reached on 16 million crossing manufacturing in 2020. Whereas healthcare jobs were started at just above 3 million in 1960 and cross agriculture in 1980 and reach 5 million. After that it increases sharpely and reaches 16 million same as retail.

Manufacturing sectors was leading in 1960 with highest 15 million jobs. peaked in 1980 with 20 million jobs . then decreased significantly to 14 million in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify the main contrast: retail and healthcare rise, while manufacturing and agriculture decline overall. You also report several key figures accurately, including retail’s increase from about 6 million to 16 million and manufacturing’s peak of 20 million in 1980. However, the overview is incomplete because agriculture’s fall is not supported with any figures or further detail, and healthcare’s starting point is overstated: it is about 2 million in 1960, not just above 3 million. The manufacturing figure for 2020 is close enough to the chart. The response is 142 words, below the required 150, and some trends are only briefly developed. Include agriculture’s values and clarify the healthcare starting point to cover the data more fully.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, an overview, and paragraphs describing the rising sectors and manufacturing. This makes the main direction of change easy to follow. Sequencing is also generally logical, with years presented in chronological order. However, cohesion is sometimes mechanical or unclear. For example, “while” begins a new sentence after a full stop, and “then” and “After that” are used as basic transitions without consistently smooth links between comparisons. The healthcare and retail details are combined in one long paragraph, while agriculture is omitted, so the coverage feels uneven. Use clearer links to compare sectors directly and give each paragraph a focused purpose.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for describing trends, including “significant increase,” “peaked,” “decreased,” and “crossing,” and the reader can generally understand the intended comparisons. However, the range is limited and several word-choice, collocation, and spelling errors reduce precision: “job openings” is not the same as the chart’s number of jobs, while “grew sharpely” and “openeing” are misspelled. Phrases such as “reached on 16 million” and “cross agriculture” are also unnatural. Aim for accurate, varied trend language and check spelling carefully. More precise terms such as “employment,” “rose steadily,” and “overtook” would make the report sound more natural and appropriately academic.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including a contrast with “Whereas” and a sequence introduced by “After that.” However, grammatical control is inconsistent, and errors occur in basic sentence patterns as well as longer ones. For example, “The line graph illustrate” has subject–verb disagreement, and “retail and healthcare sectors has shown” should use a plural verb. Tense and article choices are also unreliable in “retail sector have” and “healthcare jobs were started.” Punctuation creates further problems, such as the lower-case “while” after a full stop and the fragment-like “peaked in 1980 with 20 million jobs.” Practise accurate past-tense reporting and check agreement and sentence boundaries.

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