Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-08
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The line graph shows trends about number of jobs in millions in four sectors which contributed to US economy between 1960 and 2020.
An overall overview illustrates that healthcare department made significant rise in the number of jobs while a gradual decrease was seen in manufacturing and retail sector jobs. Agriculture sector jobs decreases slightly but then remained almost steady.
Manufacturing Sector jobs made sharp progress to 20 million jobs from 1960 to 1980 however after 1980 it started to decline and reached lowest in 2020. Retail sector jobs increased significantly from 6 million jobs in 1960 to 15 million in 2000 and then eventually made slow progress to reach 16 million in 2020. Healthcare sector jobs keep on increasing with time from 3 million in 1960 to 16 million in 2020 equivalent to retail sector. Agriculture sector jobs were at 6 million in 1960 but kept on decreasing gradually to reach the lowest in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5
You identify the main movements and provide a clear overview: healthcare rises, manufacturing falls after its peak, and agriculture declines. Several comparisons are also supported with figures, such as retail increasing from 6 million to 15 million by 2000. This covers the task well, and the overview shows some selection of key features. However, the overview misstates retail as gradually decreasing, when it rises throughout, and the agriculture description says it becomes steady without noting its further fall from about 3 million to 2 million. Healthcare begins at about 2 million, not 3 million. To make the account more complete and precise, correct these details and highlight that retail and healthcare both reach about 16 million in 2020.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0
The response has a recognisable progression from an introduction to an overview and then details, so the reader can follow the broad account. The sector-by-sector reporting also gives the information a sensible order. Cohesion is less controlled in places: the overview’s claim that retail declines conflicts with the later statement that it increases, and repeated use of “jobs” and “sector” makes the links feel somewhat mechanical. The final paragraph combines three sectors in one block, which makes comparisons less easy to track. Use clearer grouping—for example, manufacturing and agriculture as declining sectors, then retail and healthcare as rising ones—and check that the overview agrees with the details.
Lexical Resource: Band 6.0
You use a sufficient range of task-related vocabulary, including “gradual decrease,” “increased significantly,” “decline,” and “remained almost steady.” These choices help communicate the main trends, and the meaning is generally clear. Some expressions are imprecise or unnatural for describing a graph: “made sharp progress” and “made slow progress” are not suitable collocations for changes in job numbers, while “healthcare department” is less accurate than naming the sector. “Equivalent to retail sector” also needs a clearer comparison. Aim for precise trend language and vary repeated wording, using verbs such as “rose,” “fell,” “peaked,” and “levelled off” where the data supports them.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0
You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including clauses linked with “while” and “however,” and most of the intended meaning remains understandable. Some grammatical errors persist. For example, “Agriculture sector jobs decreases” has subject–verb disagreement, and “healthcare sector jobs keep on increasing” does not maintain the past tense used for the historical period. The phrase “from 3 million in 1960” also reports an inaccurate starting figure, though the main grammatical issue is the sentence’s tense and construction. Articles and sentence boundaries need attention as well, particularly in “Manufacturing Sector jobs made sharp progress.” Review agreement and use the past simple consistently when describing the chart’s completed period.
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