Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-08
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 4.0)
The line graph illustrates information about the number of jobs of the finance in four sector in the US from 1960 to 2020, a period of 60 years. Overall, it can be clearly seen manufacturing and healthcare were decline while retail and health were rose rapidly.
in detail, in 1960 manufacturing and healthcare were deline because they were started fall but manufacturing 15 to 20 million jobs increased next they were decline in 1980 while they fall gradully in 2000 they were 15.5 million jobs at the end 2020 in 10.9 million jobs and next is healthcare
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 3.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.0
The response identifies the chart’s subject and period, but it reports very little of the information and does not provide a reliable overview. The overview says manufacturing and healthcare declined while “retail and health” rose, which misidentifies healthcare as both declining and rising; in fact, healthcare increased from about 2 to 16 million jobs, while agriculture fell. Some manufacturing figures are also confused: it rose from 15 to 20 million by 1980, then declined, but the response gives unclear dates and later values. The account stops before describing the other sectors. The response is also 53 words below the required minimum, leaving the task substantially incomplete. Select the main trends for all four sectors and support them with accurate comparisons.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0
There is a basic attempt to organise the response, with an opening, an overview, and a detail paragraph. However, the progression is difficult to follow because the overview contains contradictory information and the detail paragraph moves between manufacturing and healthcare without completing either account. Linking expressions such as “Overall,” “in detail,” and “next” are present, but they do not make the relationships between ideas clear; “next is healthcare” is an unfinished transition. The paragraphing therefore provides only a limited framework, rather than a coherent sequence of comparisons. A clearer structure would give a concise overview first, then group the rising sectors together and the declining sectors together, using complete sentences and explicit comparisons.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The response uses some task-relevant vocabulary, including “line graph,” “number of jobs,” “increased,” and “decline,” so the topic is generally recognisable. However, the range is limited and several word choices or forms make the meaning unclear: “jobs of the finance” does not accurately describe the sectors, “four sector” is imprecise, and “they were decline” is not a suitable expression for a trend. There are also noticeable spelling errors, including “deline” and “gradully.” These problems sometimes make it difficult to understand which sector or period is being discussed. Use precise sector names from the chart and practise standard trend language such as “rose,” “fell,” “remained stable,” and “reached.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5
The response attempts a few longer sentences, but control is weak and errors frequently obscure the intended relationships. For example, “manufacturing and healthcare were decline” has an incorrect verb form, while “retail and health were rose rapidly” uses an incorrect passive construction. The sentence beginning “in 1960 manufacturing and healthcare…” combines several ideas without clear grammatical links, and “at the end 2020 in 10.9 million jobs” lacks a complete sentence structure. There are also problems with articles, plurals, and sentence boundaries, including the lowercase start of “in detail.” Build accuracy with short, complete sentences first, then connect them using correctly formed past-tense verbs: for example, “Manufacturing rose to 20 million in 1980 before falling.”
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