Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The graph illustrates information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US during the period between 1960 to 2020. The data is presented in millions.

Overall, job demand in manufacturing on initial period on the peak compare to 3 other three job sectors later, it decreased. Retail and Agriculture both showed the paralled trend. Healthcare was consistently increasing over the period.

In 1960, Manufacturing recorded the highest number of jobs among these sectors, at 20 million in 1980, but since then it has fallen rapidly; in 2020, it was less than 15 million. Retail and Healthcare figured calculated in 1960 were 7 and 3 while both were consistently increasing over the period in present both was same demand in jobs sectors.

Agriculture sectors was less in demand and over the period it was shown decreasing in job demand in this sectors and at 2020 it was recorded the lowest job demand number recorded less the 5 millions.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You identify the four sectors and give a broad overview of rising healthcare employment and declining agriculture, which addresses some key features. However, the overview is unclear about manufacturing and retail: manufacturing peaked in 1980, not in 1960, and retail rose rather than following agriculture’s downward trend. The figures for 1960 manufacturing are also misreported: it was about 15 million, not 20 million; 20 million was the 1980 peak. You note that healthcare and retail reached similar levels by 2020, but this comparison needs a clear figure and explanation. The response is 148 words, below the 150-word minimum. Develop the main trends accurately and include a clearer overview.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, an overview, and two detail paragraphs. This gives the reader some organisation, and time markers such as “In 1960” and “in 2020” help locate information. However, progression is difficult to follow because several sentences combine trends without clear relationships. For example, “Retail and Agriculture both showed the paralled trend” is unclear and inaccurate, while the sentence about retail and healthcare being “both consistently increasing” ends with an incomplete comparison. The final paragraph repeats the general decline in agriculture without adding much detail. Use one paragraph for the overview and organise the details by contrasting rising and falling sectors, with clear links between each comparison.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant task vocabulary, including “recorded,” “decreased,” “consistently increasing,” and “demand,” so the topic is generally identifiable. However, the range is limited and several word choices or combinations are inaccurate or awkward, sometimes making the meaning difficult to interpret. Examples include “job demand … on the peak,” “figured calculated,” and “less in demand”; these do not clearly describe the number of jobs shown. “Paralled” is also misspelled, and repeated use of “job demand” limits precision. Prefer direct language for chart trends, such as “employment,” “rose,” “fell,” “peaked,” and “stood at,” and check spelling and collocations before submitting.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentences, and the response uses past-tense reporting in places, such as “it decreased” and “it was recorded.” However, errors are frequent, and some sentences are difficult to understand. The opening phrase “during the period between 1960 to 2020” uses an incorrect preposition pattern; write “between 1960 and 2020.” In “Manufacturing recorded the highest number … at 20 million in 1980, but since then it has fallen,” the tense shifts awkwardly from past reporting to present perfect. Agreement and sentence construction also need attention in “Agriculture sectors was less in demand” and “both were … both was same demand.” Use complete, controlled sentences and check subject–verb agreement, articles, and tense consistency.

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