Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 7.0)

The graph compares the number of jobs in manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare sectors in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, healthcare and retail sector increased substantially over ther period, although agriculture sector declined steadily, while the manufacturing sector initially increased before experiencing a sharp decline.

First of all, In 1960, the figures of retail and agriculture sectors were same, at 6 millions jobs, followed by retail sector rose sharply to 10 millions jobs in 1980 and 15 millions jobs in 2000, reaching almost 16 millions in 2020. Agriculture sector declined considerably to 3 millions jobs in 1980, and reaching around 2 millions jobs in 2020.

Secondly, healthcare sector accounted for 2.5 millions jobs in 1960, and increased steadily to 5 millions jobs in 1980, it then continued rising to 15-16 millions in jobs in [redacted phone]. The figures of manufaturing sector were quite different, it started from 15 millions jobs and experienced initial increase to 20 millions jobs in 1980 and fall directly to 16.5 millions jobs in 2000 and 14 millions in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.5

You give a clear overview of the main patterns: retail and healthcare rise, agriculture declines, and manufacturing peaks before falling. The body supports this with relevant comparisons, including retail and agriculture both at 6 million in 1960 and manufacturing reaching 20 million in 1980. Most figures are close to the chart, and the small differences in approximate readings do not affect the account. One notable inaccuracy is that healthcare is reported at 15–16 million in 2000–2020, whereas it is about 11 million in 2000 and 16 million in 2020. The overview is effective, though describing manufacturing’s fall as “sharp” slightly overstates its gradual decline after 1980. More precise reporting of healthcare’s stages and the manufacturing trend would strengthen the response further.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The response is organised clearly into an introduction, an overview and two body paragraphs, and the information generally progresses in a sensible order. The comparison of retail and agriculture in the first body paragraph is easy to follow, while the second groups healthcare and manufacturing. Linking expressions such as “Overall,” “First of all” and “Secondly” make the structure visible, although the latter two sound somewhat mechanical for a formal report. Some sentence connections are less controlled: the healthcare sentence joins two independent clauses with a comma, and the final paragraph shifts abruptly between sectors. To improve, use more natural transitions and connect related trends within sentences without creating comma splices. Overall, the reader can follow the account without difficulty.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.5

You use an adequate range of task-relevant vocabulary, including “declined steadily,” “increased substantially,” “accounted for” and “experienced an initial increase.” These choices help describe trends and comparisons, and the meaning remains clear. However, some collocations and forms are inaccurate or awkward, such as “the figures … were same,” “rose sharply” after “followed by,” and “fall directly.” There is also a spelling error in “manufaturing.” The repeated use of “millions jobs” and “sector” limits naturalness and flexibility. Aim for precise chart language and consistent forms, for example “the number of jobs,” “fell to,” and “million jobs.” This would retain your useful range while making the report more idiomatic and accurate.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You attempt a mix of simple and complex structures, including a contrast in the overview (“although … while”) and time clauses describing changes. The main trends are usually understandable, but some grammatical errors recur. Examples include “the figures … were same” (missing article), “retail sector rose” (missing article and an awkward clause pattern), and “it then continued rising …, it then” (a comma splice). In “reaching around 2 millions,” the participle does not form a complete clause, and “2.5 millions jobs” has an incorrect plural pattern. Capitalisation after “First of all” is also inconsistent. Practise complete sentence boundaries, articles before singular sector nouns, and the pattern “X million jobs.” Greater control of these forms would make your varied sentences more accurate.

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