Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The given graph illustrate number of position for the four different sector of job available in the US in the year between 1960 and 2020, portrait vertically and horizontally respectively.

The manufacturing sector had a start with highest number in job, i.e, 15 million at the year 1960 and the healthcare sector seems quite not developed at that time of period with lowest job number opened ,i.e, only .5 million. Meanwhile, other two sector Retail and agriculture had same paced in number of job in the year 1960 that was around 5 to 6 million only.

While number of jobs in agricultural sector is degrading throughout the period 1960 to 2020 , but staying same in number in period 1980 and 2000. The manufacturing sector also seem to only rise at first from 1960 to 1980, and degrading the number of jobs from 1980 to 2020. And the number of jobs in the sector retail and healthcare has been increasing drastically since the year 1960 and has same number of jobs i.e , above 15million and below 16 million in the year 2020.

In conclusion, the manufacturing and agriculture sector is not as applicable as retail and healthcare sector in US as per the given data in the graph above.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify several important patterns: manufacturing is highest initially, rises to a peak in 1980 and then declines, while agriculture falls and retail and healthcare grow. However, some key details are inaccurate or unclear. Healthcare began at about 2 million jobs, not 0.5 million, and by 2020 retail and healthcare were both around 16 million; the phrase “above 15 million and below 16 million” does not report this accurately. The conclusion that manufacturing and agriculture are “not as applicable” is an unsupported interpretation rather than a summary of the figures. To strengthen the response, give a clear overview of the main changes and compare the sectors’ final positions using accurate figures.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable progression: it introduces the graph, describes the starting figures, compares changes over time, and ends with a conclusion. Paragraphing helps separate these stages, and connectors such as “Meanwhile” and “In conclusion” make the sequence visible. However, some links are mechanical or awkward, and the long middle paragraph combines several trends without clearly prioritising them. The opening reference to the graph’s “vertically and horizontally” presentation does not help organise the information. A clearer overview paragraph followed by separate comparisons of declining and rising sectors would make the progression easier to follow. Use linking phrases to show meaningful contrasts, rather than relying mainly on general transitions.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for describing trends, including “increasing,” “degrading,” “highest,” and “lowest,” so the reader can generally identify the intended comparisons. However, the range is limited and several choices are inaccurate or unnatural for this task. “Number of position,” “number of job,” and “same paced” are unclear collocations, while “not as applicable” does not appropriately describe employment figures. “Portrait vertically and horizontally” is also an unsuitable description of the graph. Aim for precise chart language such as “number of jobs,” “remained stable,” “declined,” and “employment levels.” More accurate collocations and less repetition would make your comparisons clearer and more academic.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentences, including clauses beginning with “While,” and the overall meaning is usually recoverable. However, errors in sentence structure and grammatical forms are frequent enough to make some sentences difficult to read. For example, “The given graph illustrate” has subject–verb disagreement, and “the number of jobs … has same number” lacks a necessary article and has an unclear structure. The sentence beginning “While number of jobs…” is not properly connected to its main clause, and “the manufacturing and agriculture sector is” has agreement and number problems. Practise accurate subject–verb agreement, articles, plurals, and complete clause structures. Shorter, controlled sentences would help you express the trends more reliably.

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