Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line chart provides information about the figures of employment in US over the period of 60 years in four different sectors of the economy.

Overall, manufacturing sector being the highest at the beginning went to a dramatic change over the period. However, there is a considerable surge in the healthcare sector while the agriculture sector reported the least employment.

From 1960 to 1989, manufacturing sector experienced slightly increased employment rate from 15 millions to 20 millions then it fell considerable over the period of time and reached 14 millions. As far as retail sector is concerned, it grew substantially from 6 millions to 16 millions in the given period. Both these sectors crossed their paths at 15 millions job rate.

In the beginning, the agriculture sector declined gradually from 5.5 millions to 2.5 millions while there is dramatic surge in the healthcare sector starting from 2.5 millions to 15.1 millions in 2020.

Both these sector crossed their paths after beginning.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the main overall pattern: manufacturing starts as the largest sector, healthcare rises substantially, and agriculture remains the smallest. Several comparisons are relevant, including the rise in retail and the point where retail and manufacturing meet. However, some details are inaccurate or unclear: manufacturing peaks in 1980, not 1989, and the chart shows it ending at about 13 million rather than 14 million. Retail and healthcare meet at roughly 16 million in 2020, not at 15 million; the statement that agriculture and healthcare “crossed their paths” is also unsupported, as healthcare remains above agriculture. Develop the overview and comparisons more precisely, especially by noting that retail and healthcare both finish at around 16 million jobs.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, moving from an introduction and overview to paragraphs about the sectors, and the reader can generally follow the trends. Linking phrases such as “Overall,” “As far as retail sector is concerned,” and “In the beginning” help signal the discussion. However, the progression is weakened by grouping trends in a way that makes comparisons difficult to track, and the final sentence repeats the claim that sectors crossed paths without specifying which ones or when. Some transitions are also awkward or imprecise. Organise the body around clearer comparisons—for example, manufacturing and retail together, then agriculture and healthcare—and use explicit references to the years and sectors being compared.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of task-related vocabulary, including “employment,” “surge,” “declined gradually,” and “grew substantially,” which helps describe changes rather than simply list figures. Some less common choices are not used precisely or naturally: “went to a dramatic change” is unclear, “crossed their paths” is an awkward way to describe lines meeting, and “employment rate” does not accurately describe the number of jobs shown. There is also repetition of “sector” and “period.” Choose collocations that fit chart descriptions and vary the language for increases, decreases, and comparisons. More precise wording would make the trends easier to understand without requiring more elaborate vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including contrast with “while” and a conditional-style comparison in “As far as retail sector is concerned.” Most of the intended meaning remains understandable, but some grammatical errors recur. Articles are missing in phrases such as “in US” and “manufacturing sector,” and agreement is incorrect in “Both these sector crossed.” The opening overview also has an incomplete construction: “manufacturing sector being the highest at the beginning went to…” A more controlled version would be “Although manufacturing had the most jobs initially, its figure later declined.” Check articles, plural forms, and sentence structure, and use consistent past-tense reporting. These corrections would improve accuracy while preserving your attempts at varied sentences.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.